The Family Scrapbook
by tayababy
Summary: There may be more than one family album, but they say a picture is worth a thousand words, and as Jack Hotchner explains to his grandchildren, the memories are everlasting. Futurefic, AU, snapshots of the family not in chronological order. Halloween done!
1. Prologue and Intro 2011

**The Family Scrapbook – Tell Me More**

_There may be more than one family album, but they say a picture is worth a thousand words, and as Jack Hotchner explains to his grandchildren, the memories are everlasting._

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_**Prologue: Introduction**_

_Grandpa Jack sat in his favourite armchair at his son's family home. Morgan had long since grown up and had children of his own, as had Simon and Camilla, and their own children, his grandchildren, were sitting in front of him now, waiting with the family scrapbook spread across their laps._

"_Grandpa Jack, tell us a story please," five year old Haley asked. "You always tell the best stories!"_

"_Better than Grandma Sam or Audrey or PJ or Kitty?" he asked, tickling the two year old in his lap. Jack smiled widely; he had ten grandchildren, all aged between ten and two, and they all loved to hear about his family when he was growing up._

"_Yeah, you're the best!" eight year old Ethan responded._

_Jack continued to smile. "Okay, how about you open the scrapbook, pick out a photo, and I'll tell you that story?"_

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_**Chapter 1: The Scrapbook**_

"_Grandpa Jack, what does this mean?" nine year old Isabella asked, pointing to the dedication just inside the cover._

_Jack smiled. "Honey, that's what my Aunt Penelope wrote on the inside of the cover to remind Mommy and Daddy why they always deserved the book, and to remind them to always keep it going."_

"_Oh," Isabella responded, pouting slightly. "But does it mean anything?"_

_Jack chuckled. "Bella, there's a story behind everything in this book. The dedication was one of the first things Aunt Penelope put in the scrapbook…"_

_**June 2011**_

Emily sat on the couch in their living room, Aaron next to her, and everyone else either on the surrounding couches, or sitting on the floor in Morgan's case. They were in the Hotchner household celebrating Emily's forty-first birthday, and three month old Audrey was still asleep in her crib upstairs for the time being, so they were being slightly quieter than usual.

The living room looked like a tornado had hit it; always loving presents, mainly because she never received many, Emily always tore into the wrapping paper, much like a child on Christmas morning. There was paper and sticky tape covering most surfaces, including Derek's bald head.

A large pile of presents sat on a side table just to the left of the couch, and Emily relaxed back into the cushions. "Is that everything?" she asked, "because I could really use a break."

Penelope giggled, and everyone knew the look on her face meant danger.

"Pen, what did you do?" JJ asked from a single armchair on the side.

"Nothing much," she tried to deny, much like Jack did when he was lying. She received a glare from all present, and gave up on the act. "Fine, just on more present, but Hotch, it's for both of you."

Emily and Aaron didn't have to wait long as they watched Penelope pull a large gift box from behind her, and presented it to her best friend.

They all watched in silence as Emily carefully opened the box, and gasped at what she saw.

A leather bound scrapbook was sitting there, wrapped delicately in tissue paper, with a black and white photo of Aaron, Emily and Jack on their wedding day on the front. Emily traced over her surname, which was carved into the leather, with her finger, so softly because she feared it would break.

"Take it out, have a look inside," Penelope urged on.

Emily lifted the book out, and Hotch took the box to one side, before leaning in next to his wife as she opened the cover.

Just on the inside, on a shiny piece of blue paper, which Emily recognised as the back of their wedding invitation, was a thoughtful dedication.

"For Emily and Aaron, may you love each other forever, may your family continue to grow, may your happiness never die, may you die of old age together. This is your family album, continue to bless it with your memories, so you may live forever in our hearts," she read out loud, tears rolling down her cheeks as she did so.

Eventually, she looked up at Penelope, who was smiling widely. "You did this all for me?" she asked quietly, watching the blonde nod vigorously. "Thank you, Pen, you don't know how much this means to me."

"Oh, I think I do," she replied, standing up to give her a hug. Emily accepted it readily. "The first few pages are done, and I'll teach you how to do the rest later."

Emily nodded, and passed the book to Aaron so he could look at the creation without damaging it. She watched the emotions on his face dance uncharacteristically as he saw the beautiful collages of their wedding, her time pregnant with Audrey, the day they brought Audrey home, and a page just of the seven of them, their BAU family.

"Pen, do I want to know exactly how you managed to get your hands on these photos?" Emily asked, not lifting her eyes from the first pictures they had of Audrey.

"Nope," she replied, popping the 'p'. "Just enjoy it; we'll put your birthday and Audrey's first Christmas in when I can steal the camera."

Aaron looked up and smiled at the woman Emily considered to be one of her sisters. "Thank you, Penelope; you don't know how much this means to us."

"Au contraire, sir, I think I do."


	2. No Laughing Matter 2014

**Ok, so this is my entry to the FanFic Challenge Round Three: Dealers Choice. My prompts were JJ/Morgan; a pillow, New England Patriots, a Red Bull.**

**As usual, I don't own anything you recognise, including the title, which came from an episode of M*A*S*H.**

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**_No Laughing Matter_**

"_Grandpa Jack, when did this happen?" one of his grandchildren asked him._

_Jack took the scrapbook from the child and looked at the displayed page. "Well, Ethan, I'm pretty sure that's the day my cousin Gabriella, your Grandpa Henry's sister, was born."_

"_Really?" he asked in wonder. Jack nodded. "Can you tell me the story? Please!"_

_Jack shook his head. "I'm sorry, buddy, but it's a story Grandpa Henry has to tell."_

"_Which story do I have to tell?" Henry asked, wheeling himself into the room._

_Jack smiled at his brother-in-law. "The one Aunt Pen described as 'No Laughing Matter'."_

_Henry smiled as he remembered the story. "Ah, yes, I love that one. Dad's hand was never the same after that; he always complained in the cold, and the rain, and the heat, and… well, I don't think he ever didn't complain about his hand."_

"_What happened to his hand?" Ethan asked, suddenly curious._

"_Well, Ethan, it all started when my Uncle Derek laughed at my dad's misfortune," Henry began. "You see, the Rossi family are a very stubborn one…"_

_**March 2014**_

Jennifer Jareau Rossi lowered herself back onto the couch, slipping a pillow behind her lower back. She sighed heavily, dropping a hand to her swollen stomach, and diverted her attention back to the football game on TV. Derek Morgan moved slightly next to her; he was the day's babysitter while the family were working.

"I'm so sick of being pregnant," JJ moaned, propping her feet on the coffee table. "I swear, this little girl is going to be the death of me."

"How late is she now?" Derek asked, opening his third can of Red Bull. He was waiting for the next game on ESPN, the rerun of the New England Patriots against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

"Ten days."

Derek started giggling.

"Man, why are you laughing?" she almost screamed. "Your wife is pregnant with triplets, and you're laughing at me!"

"No offense, baby girl, but my wife is sitting on her ass in front of multiple computer screens every day while you roam the country talking to the press and hunting down unsubs. You went into labour in her office with Henry!"

JJ glared at him. "What does that have to do with anything! This kid is ten days late! Ten days, Derek! And every minute of those days she has either been playing soccer with my bladder, or getting one of her feet stuck in my ribcage! Once, she even had the hiccups for what felt like eight hours! Do you know what it feels like when your unborn child has hiccups?"

At that comment, Derek started laughing again.

"No, Derek, it's not funny!" she shrieked. "I just want her to drop her head already. Hell, even Henry will be happy when she's born! He's almost scared to come anywhere near me. Do you know what it's like to have your son scared to even hug you? Dave's avoiding me, Aaron's avoiding me, Emily's busy with the twins when she's not at work, and everyone's hovering! I can't take it any more!"

Derek kept laughing, obviously on some kind of caffeine high from the Red Bull he kept drinking, and JJ slapped his bald head.

"Woman, what did I do to deserve that?" he asked, rubbing the spot where she hit him.

"You don't laugh at a pregnant woman's discomfort, idiot," she growled. Derek shook his head and returned his attention to the end of the football game; he wasn't the biggest fan of the Patriots or the Steelers, but it was an important game for the season and he had missed it due to an interstate case the weekend before. He was so focussed on ignoring his friend, he missed the pained look ripple across her face as she rubbed her lower back.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, JJ silently plotting her way to kill him, and Derek wondering what he had done to deserve the punishment, when Natalia broke the silence.

"Miss Jennifer?" the Hispanic housekeeper interrupted.

JJ looked over the top of the couch, still rubbing her lower back, to give her attention to the woman who not only ran her house, but saved her from the men and their stupid behaviour. "Yes, Natalia, is everything ok?"

"Forgive me for being so forward, Miss Jennifer, but are you in any pain?"

Derek, overhearing the older woman's concern, immediately turned his head to the woman next to him. "JJ, are you ok?" he asked seriously.

"Mm hmm," she nodded. "The baby's just wiggling around and she's kicking my spine; I'll be better when she stops moving."

"Are you sure?" all hint of teasing was gone from his voice. "Dave said you're bound to drop any time now, I just want to make sure…"

"Derek, if you value your life, you'll shut the hell up now," she groaned, rubbing her back further.

"Miss Jennifer, do you want me to call Mister David?"

JJ looked up at the housekeeper, then to Derek's face, and then back to Natalia again. "No offense, Natalia, but all I want right now is to sleep, and she's not going to let me, so no, I do not want you to call David. If you do, you won't have a job to come back to."

Derek and Natalia shared a reprehensive look, but the woman nodded and left the room, heading to the kitchen to cook dinner. Derek himself turned back to the television, but was more focused on the pregnant woman next to him. He could see her hissing every so often, rubbing her back all the time, but he tried to ignore it, if only to keep his manhood intact. There was nothing worse than an aggravated JJ with a gun; she never missed.

Five pm came and went, and before either of them knew it, six o'clock rolled around. Henry still hadn't appeared, and Dave was still in the BAU office covering for the unit chief currently camped out on his couch. Natalia kept checking in, but JJ waved her off almost immediately.

The pair continued to sit in silence, the TV showing an interview with one of the Patriots players, but they weren't paying attention.

"Ok, I've had enough," Derek broke the silence. He turned to JJ to confront her. "You've been hissing and rubbing your back for almost two hours now; I want an explanation, and I want one now."

"Can you hand me that pillow first please?" she asked, pointing to the one on the next lounge. Derek handed it over.

"Why?"

"So I can do this," she said evilly, whacking him across the face with it.

"Damn woman, what did you do that for?"

JJ shrugged. "I needed to, and you were just asking for it."

Derek shook his head. "JJ, I swear, one day I'm going to hurt you."

JJ laughed, and Henry ran in at the sound of his mother's voice. "Mommy!" the seven year old screamed.

"Hi, baby."

"I'm not a baby any more," Henry said proudly.

"No, little man, you aren't," Derek said from next to him.

Henry beamed and placed his face on his mother's belly, ready to begin telling the baby about his day, like he always did. JJ sat back and relaxed while Henry completed his ritual while Morgan took the opportunity to grab another caffeine drink from the kitchen.

"Mommy, why is your belly moving?" Henry asked innocently.

"What?" Derek asked from the door. "You said she was just moving like h-e-double-hockey-sticks on wheels."

"I may have lied," she trailed off quietly, rubbing her hand against her lower back again.

"If you say you're in labour, I swear…"

"I think I'm in labour," she whispered.

"Seriously, woman?"

JJ nodded. "Seriously."

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Gabriella Margaret Rossi was born in the early hours of the following morning, March 16, 2014, weighing in at 8 pounds, 12 ounces, 46 centimetres long. Jennifer Rossi was totally exhausted, but completely happy with their new addition. Henry, totally enamoured with his new baby sister, sat on the other side of his mother, his eyes and hands never leaving the newborn.

David Rossi, on the other hand, was deliriously happy. This was not only due to his firstborn daughter, but the morphine given to him when his wife broke his hand during labour.

The team slowly filtered in after everyone had been cleaned up and settled into a private room, each expressing their congratulations to the new parents. When they found out about Dave's 'injury', and the method in which he received it, Derek started laughing loudly, much to everyone else's disgust.

"Derek Morgan, this is no laughing matter," JJ chastised him. "Don't forget you will probably be in the same position in a couple of months, and who will be laughing then?"

The look on Morgan's face, as both his wife and her best friends watched on with undisguised glee at his discomfort, was captured for posterity by a stray digital camera, much to the delight of everyone else.


	3. Birth 2011

_**Birth**_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I own nothing except Audrey and anything else you don't recognise._

_AN: Make sure you're old enough to know about the birds and the bees before you read this chapter. While not explicit, it may be a little graphic for younger readers._

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"_Grandpa Jack, why does Grandma Emily look so tired here?" little Emily asked her grandfather._

_Jack looked at the page and smiled. "Honey, that was the day your Grandma Audrey was born."_

"_Is that like when Mommy came home from the hospital with the baby in her arms instead of in her tummy?" Emily's twin, Haley, asked._

_Jack chuckled. "That's exactly right, baby, but now's probably not a good time for you to hear the story."_

_Emily and Haley huffed, not used to being rebuffed by their grandfather, and stormed out of the living room._

"_Dad, that wasn't very nice," Simon, his son, said from the doorframe._

"_Honey, I don't think five year olds need to know the details of the birthing process," Jack deadpanned. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I haven't even told you this story."_

"_You haven't told a lot of people."_

_Jack sighed, and saw the collection of adults standing behind Simon. He knew this was one story he would probably have to tell. "You're right, I haven't. But that's about to change."_

_**2010/2011**_

It had been a long eight months. Ever since Emily discovered she was pregnant, at 8 weeks gestation, she had been fighting Aaron Hotchner, her boss and husband, constantly in matters they would normally consider trivial or normal.

He wanted her confined to the office; she wanted to stay in the field. Eventually, he conceded.

Next, he would allow her in the field and interstate, but to stay with the local LEO's focussing on victimology; she refused to be taken off the streets until a Kevlar jacket could no longer fit her. Though he protested loudly, he eventually conceded.

Then, once the Kevlar could no longer fit and fatigue set in quickly, he didn't want her travelling interstate on cases with them; she refused to be pushed off the team just because she was carrying his child. After loud arguments, often mediated by Rossi and JJ, he conceded again.

When her doctor told her, at 32 weeks, that the added stress from her job in conjunction with her higher than median age, put her at higher risk of pre-term labour and complications, Hotch insisted she take maternity leave there and then.

For once, she conceded to him, without argument.

At 38 weeks and three days, which was considered full term, Doctor Samuels expressed her opinion that Emily be put on strict bed rest, preferably in the maternity ward at George Washington Hospital. Though she protested loudly, even Reid and Morgan helped Hotch, Rossi and JJ convince Emily to move into the supervised ward, all knowing she would not stay in bed at home.

They figured out a schedule, leaving one of the team at the hospital during the work day, with Aaron and Jack bunking in overnight in the extra bed the nurses had put in. They had all taken a liking to the Hotchner's, and everyone was anxiously awaiting the birth of Emily's child.

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_**9 March 2011**_

Emily spent two weeks stuck in the hospital, allowed out of bed only for bathroom privileges. The best thing about her hospital stay was her family being able to stay with her every night. Six year old Jack told her stories every night about what happened at school that day, and on the weekends the whole team, JJ's son Henry included, filled her days with memories and laughter.

The third Wednesday of her forced bed rest, around three in the morning, Emily woke with a twinging pain in her back. Thinking nothing of it, she rolled over and fell back into an uncomfortable sleep. She was shaken awake around five by a nurse who said the foetal monitor was going haywire.

"You know, I'm surprised you haven't woken up before now, these contractions are starting to come pretty hard and fast," she said, moving Emily into a sitting position. "I wouldn't be surprised if your water breaks soon."

Emily grinned through a contraction; she was definitely starting to notice them now as a sharp pain rippled through her abdomen and lower back. "Aaron," she moaned, putting her arms behind her back. "Go get Aaron."

The nurse nodded, seeing she couldn't do any more until the OBGYN resident or attending made their way to her room. She hurried away, cursing the fact that the one night Aaron Hotchner had not spent at the hospital with his son, his wife had gone into labour.

Emily tried to grasp at her bedside table where her cell phone way lying; Hotch was currently in the middle of a case in the area and the whole team had spent the night on call in the office fielding calls. She flipped quickly through her contacts list until she found the number she was looking for.

"_Hello?_" a sleepy voice answered.

"Jessica?" Emily answered, though suddenly overcome by another contraction.

"_Emily? What's wrong?_" Jack's aunt sounded worried.

"Jessica, I've gone into labour; can you wake Jack and bring him to the hospital? JJ and Penelope will meet you here," she had to pause again to focus on her breathing.

"_Sure Emily_," Jessica sounded a lot more awake now. "_We'll see you soon okay. Good luck_."

"Thanks Jessica," she managed to squeeze out before hanging up the phone. She pressed her finger to the keypad, speed dialling the next best person to spread the word.

"_Agent Jareau_," JJ answered, obviously answering her phone automatically.

"JJ," she breathed.

"_Is that you Emily? Are you okay?_"

Emily started breathing heavily. "JJ, I need you to get everyone down here, Aaron especially."

"_Oh my God, are you in labour?_"

"Mmmhmmm, and it's coming pretty quick, so please hurry."

"_No worries, Em, we'll be there as soon as we can,_" she replied. Emily could already hear her gathering her handbag. "_Just keep my godchild in there long enough for us to get there._"

"Hurry," Emily managed. A nurse had entered the room again, this one different from the one who woke her, and frowned at the use of her cell.

"Hey, you can't use that in here!"

"Needed to call my husband," Emily moaned. "He needs to be here for the birth."

The nurse nodded. "That's okay, but no more. I'm just going to give you a quick exam before Doctor Samuels gets in for the final stage.

Emily nodded, and leaned back into the pillows that had been propped behind her. She lifted her feet into the stirrups that had been raised at the end of the bed and waited patiently for the nurse to finish.

"Okay, then Emily, you're about eight and a half centimetres dilated already, which means your labour must have progressed significantly while you were sleeping. Your water should break very shortly and as soon as you hit ten centimetres we'll move you up to labour and delivery."

"Not before Aaron gets here," she said, pulling her legs back to the mattress. "Aaron needs to be here," she said more to herself than the nurse before moaning though another contraction. "Is it supposed to hurt this much?" she asked.

"Unfortunately," the nurse nodded. "And you're too far progressed for an epidural or any other drug, so you'll have to go all natural unless complications arise."

"Oh, that sounds so enjoyable," she replied sarcastically. "Will my vagina ever look the same again?"

"Okay, I'm going to pretend I never heard that," a voice came from the door. Emily looked up to see Dave Rossi standing there. "How are you doing, Em?"

Emily smiled evilly. "I'm pushing baby the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of an orange, Dave, how the hell do you think I'm doing?"

Dave chuckled. "You're doing great, Em," he said, taking the seat beside her and her hand in his.

"Aaron?" she asked, breathing her way through another contraction.

"He'll be here soon, everyone will be, but for now you'll have to do with me," he said, watching the monitor. "Just keep breathing, slow deep breaths."

"Wow, anyone would think you've done this before," the nurse commented. She had another peek under the sheet, pulling Emily's feet back into the stirrups. "Okay, Emily, I'm going to need you to leave your feet up here from now on, you're progressing quickly and the doctor will be in soon."

Emily simply nodded. She was about to say something when she felt the sheets beneath her suddenly moisten dramatically. "Was that supposed to happen?" she asked.

The nurse had a peek and nodded. "Your water just broke, so the baby is getting ready to make his or her entrance into the world. It shouldn't be too long now; you'll probably be a mother within the hour."

Emily looked to Dave, who simply smiled and handed over her cell phone once the nurse had walked out.

When she got Aaron's voicemail, she left a nice, strained message. "Aaron Hotchner, you better be lying dead in a ditch somewhere because I'm HAVING YOUR BABY, and when I get my hands on you you'll wish you never did this to me IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Dave chuckled quietly at the message. "He'll be here, nothing could keep him away."

Emily smiled and nodded, unable to say anything while she focussed on Dave's kind eyes as pain ripped though her body.

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An hour passed, and Hotch still hadn't turned up. Jessica popped her head into the room about half an hour previously, saying she had dropped a very excited Jack with his Aunt Penelope who was sitting in the waiting room, before leaving to get ready for work.

Emily smiled and thanked her, and gave Dave another look. The older man smiled and wiped her forehead with a cold towel before sending a quick text to the pair waiting outside.

A minute later, Doctor Samuels walked in, putting the end to any conversation that was going to happen. "Hello Emily, how are we doing this fine morning?"

"Kelly, it's barely 7 AM and I'm in labour, how the hell do you think I am?" she asked.

"Point taken, I'm not the one in labour," Kelly Samuels chuckled. "I'll just take a quick look under here, and we'll see how to progress from here."

Emily let her head rest in the pillows while she felt the doctor poke around, her hand squeezing Dave's tightly. Her contractions were about thirty seconds apart and it felt like the last one had barely disappeared before she felt the next one.

"Okay, Emily, you're ten centimetres dilated, it's time to move you to the delivery room," Kelly pronounced happily. "If everything goes well, you should meet your baby in a few minutes."

"No," she said, squeezing her eyes shut. "Aaron has to be here, I can't do this on my own."

Kelly sympathised with her patient. "Honey, you won't be alone, but you're risking some pretty serious complications if we don't deliver soon. We might be able to delay about five minutes, but any more than that and the risks become too high to wait."

Emily nodded and looked at Rossi. "Dave, tell me where he is."

Dave hung his head. "Last I spoke to him, they were getting close to catching the un-sub but he was on the other side of the Anacostia. Morgan and JJ are with him, but I don't know if he'll make it in time."

Suddenly, tears appeared in her eyes. "He promised me he'd be here; he promised me he wouldn't miss this. He promised!"

"Sshhh," Dave wiped her forehead again. "He'll be here; you just focus on keeping my godchild healthy until he does."

She nodded, and looked up at the doctor. "We can go now," she said quietly.

"You're ready?" she confirmed.

Emily nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be; but Aaron Hotchner's gonna wish he never missed this."

Doctor Samuels nodded once, and walked out of the private room. She motioned to the orderlies that they were good to go, and very quickly, Emily was moving towards labour and delivery.

The next few minutes happened really quickly for her and Dave, who was running next to her, still holding her hand. The bed was moved quickly and precisely, turning the corners unobstructed and without jostling her.

As they came up to the elevator just before the delivery suites, the doors opened to reveal a very dishevelled Aaron Hotchner, along with Reid, Morgan and JJ, the latter who saw them moving first.

"Emily!" she exclaimed, but the labouring woman only had eyes for her husband.

"Aaron," she said, making eye contact and dropping Rossi's hand. "You made it."

He nodded and fell into step beside her moving bed. "What did I miss?"

"Sir, we're taking her into delivery now; if you'd like to be in the room with us you'll need to quickly change."

He exchanged a quick look with his wife, who smiled weakly and nodded, before taking the proffered scrubs and heading into the closest empty room to change. Moments later, he appeared and followed the orderlies through the doors into the delivery room, leaving his team, his family, waiting in the hallway.

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Penelope Garcia received a hurried phone call from Morgan, and picked up Jack from his chair next to her, walking down the corridor to where the rest of the team were waiting.

"Aunt Penny, where's Daddy and Emmy?" he asked. "I wanna see them."

"Oh pumpkin, Emily's having the baby and your daddy's in the room with her," Garcia tried to sugar coat the experience for the seven year old.

"Oh, okay," he said. Garcia rushed ahead to meet JJ and the boys, and Jack ran into Morgan's outstretched arms.

They stood there chatting for a moment, all avoiding the topic of what was happening behind the doors, and were deeply engrossed in conversation until Hotch cleared his throat behind them.

The all turned around quickly and saw their boss with a little pink bundle in his arms. He was looking lovingly down at the baby's face, and everyone immediately surrounded him. Morgan lifted Jack up to their level so the boy could meet his little sister, and they all waited expectantly.

"Emily's exhausted, they're just finishing up with her now, but she wanted you all to meet our daughter before the nurse takes her to the nursery."

"Have you named her yet?" Reid asked.

Hotch smiled. "We have a name picked out, but want to talk about it with Jack first."

"Cool," his seven year old breathed out, just watching his baby sister's face.

"Mr Hotchner, we need to take the baby now," a nurse interrupted from behind them.

Aaron nodded, and reluctantly turned away from his family to hand the newborn back to the nurse.

"Your wife will be taken back to her room shortly; you can all meet her there." The team recognised a dismissal when they heard one, and all started walking back down the hall to the room where they had spent the better part of three weeks.

Aaron and Jack stayed behind to wait for Emily, Aaron taking the opportunity to talk to his son.

"Jack, I know you've adjusted to the idea of Emily and I having a baby, but now that she's here, you know things are going to change, right?"

To his surprise, the little boy nodded his head. "The baby will take up a lot of your time and you'll have to spend lots and lots of time looking after her, but you still love me to the moon and back so I shouldn't get jealous of her."

Aaron smiled proudly at his son. "Did Aunt JJ tell you that?" he asked. Jack nodded. "Well, you know that she is a very smart person, and she's right. We will always love you, Jack, even though we have to pay a lot of attention to the baby."

"What's her name?" the little boy asked.

Aaron smiled. "Well, Emily and I thought we'd like to call her Audrey, but you can pick out her middle name."

Jack paused in thought for a moment. "I like Audrey," he announced, pronouncing her name perfectly. "I think we should name her after Emily's mommy, because Audrey is your nanna's middle name, and it's really pretty. What is Emily's mommy's name?"

Aaron chuckled. "Elizabeth. Do you like that?"

Jack smiled and nodded. "Audrey Elizabeth Hotchner. It's a pretty name."

"Well, your sister's a very pretty girl. How about we go tell Emily?"

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A few days later, Emily had been given the okay to go home, as had Audrey. Even though her labour had been relatively fast and easy, Doctor Samuels had warned Emily her recovery would be harder than normal, as in conjunction with her age, her body was already scarred from the abortion she had when she was fifteen, and Audrey's birth itself had not left her unscarred.

Emily couldn't care less. She had a gorgeous husband, two beautiful children, and a family that loved her, what more could she need?

A minute later, while she was packing away her clothes, her mother walked into the room.

"Hello Emily."

She turned around quickly. "Mother; what are you doing here?"

**Please be nice and leave a review :)**


	4. Mommy  2011

_**Mommy**_

_This came to me when I was trying to fall asleep one night. It occurred to me that there must have been a conversation behind Jack and Emily's loving relationship._

_**Bonus Challenge 13 – Mama Mia!**_

_**Prompt: Three's Company – Jack's Other Mother**_

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"_Grandpa Jack, how did we get our names?" eight year old Haley asked him one day._

_Jack sighed heavily. These days, his grandchildren wore him out quicker as he grew older, and the only way he could satisfy them was with stories of his family._

"_Why do you want to know that, pumpkin?"_

"_Because Miss Miller wants everyone to ask someone in their family about how they got their name, and then write it down to tell the class," Haley's twin sister Emily told him._

"_Well," Jack sighed again. Really, these two were totally incorrigible. "I bet you two didn't know that I'm part of a very special club right?"_

_The two girls shook their heads, lay down on their stomachs, heads resting in their hands, and looked intently up at him._

"_You see, this is a very special club…"_

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**April 2011**

Emily sat on the park bench, gently rocking the pram holding her one-month-old before her, while she watched Jack play. Aaron had had to return to the office for a meeting, even though he still had two weeks of paternity leave left before he had to officially return.

"Emmy?"

She looked up and was surprised to see Jack standing in front of her. "What is it, buddy?"

The little boy jumped up onto the bench and turned around to face her. "Emmy, will Audrey get to call you 'Mommy' when she gets big like me?" he asked innocently.

Emily was perplexed. "Of course, Jack, I'm her mom. What brought this on?"

He shrugged. "Mother's Day is coming up and Miss Mitchell, my teacher, is making our art project special collage cards to give to our mom's, and…"

This time Emily smiled. "Jack, I want you to know that you are a very special boy, because even though your mommy died, she died to protect you. See, you are very lucky to be part of a special club, one that not many people are allowed to be part of."

"Really?" he was intrigued and staring intently at her face.

"Really really," she smiled. He giggled at the Shrek reference. "Jack, this club is for little boys and girls that have two mommies or daddies, because a bad man took one of them away. Now just because your mommy is in heaven doesn't mean she doesn't think about you or watch over you all the time."

"Are you sure?" Jack was sceptical.

"Have you ever been having a really bad day, and then you see a rainbow or something and it makes you smile?" she asked gently. "Or has something gone right when you thought it was going to go wrong?"

Jack sat there for a minute before smiling and nodding.

"That's because your mommy is your personal guardian angel. She watches over you all the time from heaven, she can see everything you do, and hear everything you say. She's one of the most important people in your life, and that's why you will never, ever forget her."

"I don't want to forget her," he whispered.

"You won't," Emily whispered back, hugging him close. "You won't ever forget her, and your daddy and I will help you remember her, always."

"How?"

"Remember when I said that she can hear everything you say?" the little boy nodded. "Well, if you ever feel like you need to talk to her, all you need to do is close your eyes, imagine you're sitting in her lap, and talk to her like you normally would have. You can tell her anything, no matter what it is, and it will make you feel better."

"How do you know that, Emmy?"

Emily's smile faltered a little. "When I was about your age, my nana died. You see, when we were stateside, I would spend so much time with her, she was almost my second mommy, and when she died, what I'm telling you now is what my daddy told me.

"I used to talk to Nana every afternoon, after I got home from school. No matter where in the world we were, even though she was buried in Washington State, I would tell her what happened that day, and I would feel better afterwards.

"Jack, your mommy is just like my nana; she's sitting in heaven, watching you and me having this talk right now, and she's smiling, because even though you and your daddy are sad that she's dead, I make you happy, and I think your mommy would be okay with you calling me 'Mommy' too, if that's what you want."

Jack smiled for the first time in a while. "Really? You think she'd be ok with that?"

Emily smiled and nodded as well. "I really do, Jack. It's important for you to remember your mommy, but even though I'm not her, I like to think that you're my son and I love you just as much as I love Audrey."

"I love Audrey too, she's my baby sister," Jack whispered.

"That she is, honey; that she is."

Emily then hugged her son, and he buried his face into her chest, whispering "I love you Mommy," into her shirt, making her heart swell with pride.

**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**

A few days later, Emily walked into Jack's room after picking him up from school, and was only somewhat surprised to see him sitting on his windowsill staring at the clouds and talking. She paused for a moment, listening to his sweet voice, before smiling and continuing on to her daughter's nursery.

The little boy had taken their conversation to heart. Not only was he calling her Mommy, which surprised Aaron the first time he heard it, but he was now talking to Haley every afternoon too.

From that day on, they never needed to have another conversation about 'Jack's mommies,' as they would later recall, until he reached high school and had to write assignments about various points in his life, and for that Emily was grateful.

She loved her son as much as she loved her daughters, even though he was only related to her by marriage, but such trivial things don't concern matters of the heart, or the family either.


	5. Of Handbags and Public Places 2028

**Of Handbags and Public Places**

_This actually came to me completely by accident. The prompt I gave for the Round 3 challenge on the Chit Chat forum, though I can't legally submit it there, gave me an idea. I'm pretty sure it's now classed as a pinch hit._

_For the sake of balance, the prompt was H/P, the Washington National Mall/Monument, a tampon and a pregnancy test._

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_July 2032_

"_How many times have I told you not to go through my handbags?" Audrey screamed at her husband. Henry shrugged his shoulders, moving Amity around the kitchen on his hip. "I swear I left my keys in there with my sunglasses, and they're not there!"_

"_Audrey, shut up," Jack moaned, stumbling into the common area, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Not all of us have had coffee yet."_

"_And some of us are five months pregnant," Sam complained, her hands massaging her back as she sat down at the breakfast bar. "What's the problem anyway? Can I help?"_

_Audrey huffed and plopped down next to her sister-in-law. "I don't know how you do it. You're the pregnant one, and I'm the one with baby brain! I can't remember where I leave anything anymore!"_

"_Are you sure Amity's not taking anything, the monkey's an emerging kleptomaniac," PJ deadpanned as she walked in, wrapped in a bathrobe with a towel on her head. "I caught her with my phone yesterday."_

"_That's just because you leave it wherever she can reach it," Henry defended his daughter. "She's barely three; you should look after your stuff more."_

_The nineteen year old huffed like her sister, obviously a trait they picked up from their mother, or each other, and began another pot of coffee for when the rest of the family decided to drag themselves out of bed. "Anyone got any embarrassing stories to start the morning off?"_

_The family stood in silence for a moment, the only noises coming from the brewing coffee pot and Amity's unintelligible singing._

"_I have one," Kitty announced from the doorway. She fiddled with the hem of the white camisole which clashed with the red and navy blue Elmo boxer shots she had slept in. "Anyone remember the summer we spent in and out of the Jeffersonian summer camps; the one where Mom lost the contents of her massive handbag in front of everyone?"_

_Sam scoffed. "Kitty, that was only four years ago; stop making me feel any older."_

"_So, it was still funny," she reasoned._

"_What happened?" Henry asked. "That was the summer I spent doing extra credit internships in New York."_

_Grinning evilly, Kitty tapped her steepled fingertips in front of her face. "I can tell you…"_

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_June 2028_

It was the beginning of summer; school had just been let out until September, the temperature was at a stunning 93, and the Jeffersonian Institution in DC had a terrific summer program for teens to participate in. It was this that brought the majority of the Hotchner family, and a few tag-alongs, to DC in the middle of the week.

Seventeen year old Audrey was currently texting her boyfriend-of-the-week, a title Penelope gave the ever-changing recipient of her text messages, and wasn't paying much attention to much around her.

Fourteen year old twins PJ and Kitty were arguing about something, as usual, and it was very likely it would escalate to their play fight. They were moving dangerously close to the fountain in the middle of the gardens; the last time they had come close to a fountain both of them had ended up in it, their parents shaking their heads from the safety of the pavement.

Jack and his long-time girlfriend Sam were walking hand-in-hand through the gardens, enjoying a rare day off together between his crazy work hours as an ER intern and her middle school teaching schedule.

Emily laughed as Kitty and PJ dropped their handbags to continue their play fight, one that occurred in any public place when they were bored. Her twin daughters, moving even closer to the fountain, dropped to the ground in typical Emily fashion, rolling around in the grass laughing.

Aaron just shook his head, trying to ignore their actions as he watched for his best friends' family. Dave finally had a summer off to spend with his teenage daughters, while they were in the country, and the Morgan's were taking advantage of their unused vacation time to hang out with the extended family.

Spencer and Austin were in the process of introducing their twin daughters to the Jeffersonian enhanced study camps, which explained why they were in the gardens of the museum complex. The seven year olds very much took after their father; both Harriet and Tilly were highly intelligent but not so socially awkward, and they had their mother to thank for that.

All attention turned to the Hotchner twins who, channelling their mother to the extreme, tripped over each other and landed in the fountain with a large splash. None of them thought twice of the event, it happened often enough they now knew to expect some type of incident when the twins were in a playful mood.

"Mom!" PJ called from the fountain. She was sitting directly under the water feature with water cascading over her head, but it didn't faze her. "Please tell me you still have the chamois in your handbag, I don't think Aunt Tempe would appreciate us a) running around half naked in her museum and b) us dripping water in her lab."

Emily shook her head. "Girls, you were each given one for Christmas last year; are they not in your handbags?"

PJ and Kitty shared a look and shrugged. "I'm pretty sure mine's in my room somewhere," Kitty said, avoiding eye contact with her mother.

Aaron sighed. He knew this would happen, and he pulled out his phone to dial the only woman in the Jeffersonian who wouldn't kill them for tainting the fountain. "Angela, the girls have done it again," he sighed into the handset. He gave the details of where they were before hanging up. He turned around and saw the Washington Monument in the skyline behind the museums.

The summer was shaping up to be a nice one; the sun was shining, there was only a slight breeze, and there was barely a cloud in the sky. It wasn't really surprising that the twins had decided to go swimming in public.

"Dad!" Kitty called from behind him, and he broke his reverie to refocus his attention on his soaking wet daughters.

"What?"

"Wanna hug?"

Aaron laughed and shook his head, waling back to his family. "Em, what are you doing?"

His wife was rummaging through her overly large handbag, one she had taken to carting around when the girls were younger and had never given up, and he shook his head again. "When are you ever going to downsize your handbag; you can never find anything in that one!"

Emily looked up at him, and at that moment the handle slipped off her shoulder, and the bag toppled to the ground. Unsurprisingly, it fell open side down and the contents spilled everywhere.

The whole family stopped what they were doing when they heard Audrey gasp. She had finally stopped texting her 'flavour' to pay attention, and eventually embarrass her mother. "Mom! Why on earth do you have a pregnancy test in your handbag?"

You could have heard a pin drop at that moment. Even the other people in the gardens around them had stopped what they were doing to stare at the family.

"Em, do you have something to tell me?" Aaron asked quietly, his eyes connecting with hers.

"What? No!" she exclaimed, picking up the pregnancy test. "Austin was late and asked me to pick this up for her, but by the time I finally got around to visiting her, she didn't need it any more!"

There was a sigh of relief that echoed throughout their assembled group, and everyone else resumed their conversations. Without her husband seeing, Emily shared an apologetic look with Austin for putting her in the spotlight, and glared at Audrey for bringing it up.

"What?" she asked innocently and Emily couldn't help but laugh.

"Um, mom, care to tell me why there's now an empty box of tampons all over the ground?" PJ asked, trying not to laugh.

Emily sighed and shook her head, deciding to make a joke out of it. "PJ, dear, you got your first period at 13; I don't think we need to have the tampon conversation again."

Kitty couldn't help but laugh at her mother's straight face, and her twin's mortified one, and her laughter was contagious. It wasn't long before everyone was laughing; the chorus led by JJ and Penelope, and the embarrassing moment was gone.

Emily took advantage of the family's distraction and hid both the tampons and the offending pregnancy test back in her massive handbag, inwardly cursing Audrey for both bringing it up and needing it in the first place.

"What are you guys laughing about?" Angela Montenegro-Hodgins asked, appearing with two pairs of scrubs. "Care to share?"

The confused look on her face made everyone burst out laughing again, and most of them fell to the ground trying to catch their breath.

Once they had finally calmed down, Angela approached Aaron and Emily and gave them the scrubs for the twins. "Just make sure their mostly dry by the time they come and visit the lab. Brennan won't like it if they drip everywhere."

Emily nodded and took it under advisement and held them out to the girls.

Kitty and PJ looked at their mother like she had suddenly sprouted a second head, and then jumped back into the middle of the fountain, drenching themselves all over again.

This time, as everyone started laughing, Angela joined in.

Emily simply shook her head. Her daughters and public places were never a good mix.


	6. Catfights, Camping and Consequences 2024

Catfights, Camping and Consequences

This was written for the September Pick Your Own Pairing challenge on the Chit Chat Forum. This particular scenario has been done before by someone else in a different story, and I definitely think she did it much better, but at least I tried.

Chosen pairing is: Hotch/Prentiss

Assigned scenario is: Pairing X go on a disastrous camping trip

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_May 2046_

_Kitty sat on a park bench, watching her two year old son and five year old daughter, while her husband was walking the dog, or the dog was walking him._

"_Wow, are those two yours?" another mom approached Kitty, sitting down on the bench next to her._

_Kitty smiled at the woman and rubbed her pregnant belly. "Yeah, that's Courtney and Greyer in the sandpit. We're waiting for their cousins to arrive and my husband to finish being walked by the dog."_

_The woman laughed. "Walked by the dog?"_

"_Yeah," Kitty nodded. "Shadow has a lot of energy and she doesn't get out enough, and Jacob needs the exercise anyway. Kitty Thompson," he held out her hand._

"_Sophie Walker; my kids are Ainslie, Braxton, Candace and Dante, they're on the playground."_

"_Oh, Jacob told me about your family; he works with your husband. They're quads, right?"_

_Sophie nodded. "Yeah, they're four. I couldn't help noticing your two play so well together, it must be heaven for you."_

_Kitty laughed. "Yeah, it's great, but I don't know where they get it from. My twin sister and I almost succeeded in killing each other a few times when we were young."_

"_Really?" Sophie asked. "I don't know what I'd do if my four started doing that. How did you stop?"_

"_It's a funny story actually…"_

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July 2024

Ever since they were two years old and PJ stole Kitty's favourite stuffed toy, the Hotchner twins had a desperate need to kill each other. Their parents acknowledged it would get worse before it got better, and after many disastrous attempts at ending the bitter feud, they simply tried to ensure the least bloodshed as possible.

At age eight, PJ pushed Kitty out of the treehouse Jack was given for his sixth birthday. Kitty broke her right arm, PJ cheered before being grounded for the entire time Kitty had her bright yellow cast, and Aaron enlisted his family to dismantle the offending structure.

At age nine, Kitty and PJ were wrestling in their playroom. They still claim to not know how it happened of whose fault it was, but PJ's head was cracked open on the wooden toy chest and Kitty ended up with a concussion after smashing into the wall.

At age nine and a half, Audrey was walking them across the FBI Academy campus when, arguing as usual, PJ ended up with a broken leg after tripping over a wooden bench. Not one to let the other go unpunished, she pulled Kitty down with her and gave her another concussion.

At age ten, the girls, keeping up with the middle school trends, began to obsessively grow their fingernails, and Kitty also refused to cut her hair. Many cat fights later, the girls were covered in scratches and Kitty's beautiful, waist length so-dark-brown-it's-almost-black hair was hacked up to her shoulder blades in places. PJ had a few bald spots in her very short hair, looking even more like a pixie than ever.

At age eleven, after one too many screaming fights, Emily and Aaron had had enough. The packed Jack and Audrey off to JJ and Dave's for a week of the summer break before piling their twins into the SUV and heading to a camping ground for the week.

Once they were on the road, Emily turned off the in car DVD player and turned to her daughters while Aaron drove.

"Mom!" they whined as the screens faded to black.

They looked up at their mother's face and immediately silenced. Emily looked very close to murdering them with her eyes. "Girls, listen carefully, because I will only say this once. Your behaviour has been unacceptable and we are sick of it. The hospital personnel know us by name, and not because of our jobs, and they have files an inch thick for each of you. This desperate need to kill each other has gone on long enough. We have rules, rules that are meant to be obeyed, and as of today, there will be serious consequences each and every time you break the rules."

Emily paused for effect, looking at the shock on their faces. Aaron kept his stony gaze on the road, knowing if he were to stop the girls would not like it at all.

"Rule number one; there will be no yelling, fighting, screaming, pushing or anything of the like either in our house or in our company. Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," the girls responded in unison. They had been told off more times than they could count in the past, and knew when their parents bore that look they knew they were not to be messed with.

"Rule number two; under no circumstances are you two to even attempt to kill each other, or participate in any activities that result in bloodshed and/or injury for either party. If this happens, both of you will be sent to boarding school at opposite ends of the country. Hell, maybe we'll send you to military schools on separate coasts, I don't know, but this behaviour has to end."

You could cut the tension with a knife within the vehicle, but the girls knew exactly what behaviour their parents were demanding of them, and didn't speak.

"I am not above smacking you if the situation calls for it, either, and before either of you can comment, no, you cannot call child abuse for a punishment you deserve," Emily finished and turned around in her seat and faced out the windscreen, reaching over to grab Aaron's hand as he drove. They sat in silence for the rest of the trip, each left to their own thoughts.

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

When they pulled up to the carpark of the forest, Aaron and Emily slammed the doors of the SUV as they stepped out, and all but dragged out a daughter each.

"Mom, what are you doing?" PJ yelled, snatching her arm out of her mother's firm grip. "You can't manhandle me like that!"

"Priscilla-Jacqueline Annabeth Hotchner, do not speak to me in that tone," Emily's voice held a tinge of steel. She stormed to the back of the SUV, threw the boot open, and pulled out their backpacks. "Girls, put these on."

The eleven year olds looked at the large backpacks almost as big as they were.

"But mom…" Kitty started.

"Katherine Grace Hotchner, you do not have the right to complain right now. This week, both of you will do what you are told, _when_ you are told, with no complaints, arguments, back-chatting or the like. Neither of you have the right to protest anything that happens this week. You have brought all of this on yourselves, and now you can deal with the consequences of your actions. Now, pick up your backpacks, put a hat on your head, shut your mouths and start walking!"

Aaron smiled despite himself and their situation. Emily taking charge turned him on; it had always turned him on, but he knew he wouldn't be getting any from his wife until after the camping trip had finally ended. Watching his twin daughters storming off towards the path they were going to take, he sighed and pulled his own pack out of the vehicle, grabbing the water can with him.

Emily simply shook her head and tried to stop herself from shaking in anger, mirroring her husband's actions but grabbing the remaining tents instead. "I can't believe we've resorted to threats to deal with their behaviour," she hissed at her husband.

"Em, nothing else has worked. Amelia has had to deal with their semi-suicidal tendencies for years, the team knows about it, your mother commented on their behaviour last time she visited, your father couldn't do anything; my mother is scared of their actions, Penelope can't get through to them, and Dave only made things worse! By doing this we are being good parents, we are trying to protect them. We are doing a good thing, Em," he reiterated, taking her face in his palm. He kissed her forehead lightly, gazing into her eyes.

"Are we ever going to get moving?" PJ whined, breaking the moment.

"Yeah, let's go," Aaron said, closing the SUV and locking it. "Get ready for the camping trip of your lives," he muttered under his breath.

They hiked steadily for the next three hours, barely talking to each other outside of the necessary "Watch out's," and "Mind your steps". It reminded Emily of a scene sequence in Disney's _The Parent Trap_, where Dennis Quaid took the twin Lindsay Lohan's on a camping trip with his way-too-perky fiancé. The thought of the decades old movie and the institutionalised former child star made her giggle, which in turn caused her children to glare at her.

"Something funny?" PJ scoffed.

"Just thinking about a movie, nothing for you to concern yourself with," Emily brushed her daughter off. PJ looked at her mother like she had grown another head and Emily just strode past her, smirking to herself.

It didn't take much longer for them to reach the clearing Aaron and Emily knew was their destination, and the girls looked at the lake which was bordering it.

"What the hell is this?" Kitty asked rudely.

"Language!" Aaron and Emily responded immediately, dropping the items and backpacks they were carrying in one area.

"Well excuse me," Kitty sneered, and her parents ignored her.

"This is where we'll be camping for the next week," Aaron began. "First, you will need to set up your tent over there," he pointed to an area opposite to where he was standing. "Without any fighting or arguments, and then you will need to collect enough firewood and other materials for our campfire tonight."

His calm voice did nothing but antagonise the pre-teens even more, but he couldn't care less.

Emily held up her hands to shut down their protests immediately. 'I don't want to hear it. You guys deserve everything you're getting this week; you've brought it on yourselves." She dropped her hands and shook her head. "Just… just do what you're told, and try to get along," she sighed dejectedly.

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

Emily sat between her husband's legs in front of the campfire later than night, leaning back into his body. Aaron, sitting on a log, massaged Emily's shoulders absentmindedly, both listening to the splashing coming from the lake.

"Are we doing the right thing?" she asked, leaning her head back to look into his eyes.

Aaron smiled at his wife's upside down face and placed a soft kiss to her lips. "Em, they need to learn to control their behaviour."

"But Aaron, are we doing the right thing?"

"Would you rather send them off to boarding school?"

"No, but is this the right thing to do?"

Aaron shrugged at her outburst, not knowing what to say, and they just sat in silence, glad their daughters sounded like they were getting along.

It wasn't long until the silence was broken, this time by a piercing scream and a large splash. Aaron and Emily didn't move, they just listened as a second scream and splash followed, and the girls wrestled in the lake.

"Should we get them?"

They looked to the other's face and smiled.

"Nah."

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It wasn't surprising that the other tent was soaking wet when the adults rose the next morning. Evidently, the lake fight had continued well into the night, and both girls were covered in mosquito bites.

"Have a good night, girls?" Emily asked, trying not to smile at the looks of disgust they were aiming at their mother. "No? Serves yourselves right."

"But she started it!" Kitty screamed, pointing at her sister. "It's all her fault!"

"You're older, you should know better," Aaron replied calmly, boiling a pot of water for their morning caffeine fix.

"By, like, ten minutes!" PJ threw her hands in the air.

"Actually, more like fourteen," Emily bit back, smiling openly now. "And you'll get over it."

"Wanna make a bet?" PJ muttered under her breath.

"Excuse me?" Emily asked loudly. "I didn't hear what you said."

"Nothing, nothing, not a thing," PJ said in a sing-song voice.

"Whatever," their mother sighed again. "Ok, you two need to dry out your tent and everything in it, re-wash the dishes you didn't wash properly last night, and collect some more branches et cetera for the fire. Preferably this should all be done by lunchtime. Your father and I will spend the morning by the lake."

The girls watched as their mother turned her back on them and walked away, leaving them standing in shock.

"You might want to move!" Emily called over her shoulder. "Those jobs won't do themselves!"

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Almost two hours later, PJ and Kitty were collecting sticks and other flammable items in the woods for the campfire in silence when they heard the noise.

"What was that?" Kitty asked, looking around her.

"The sound of you losing your mind, stupidhead."

Kitty poked her tongue out at her sister. "I'm serious, dipshit. I heard something."

"Very funny, loser."

Kitty huffed, and they kept collecting firewood, occasionally poking faces at each other.

"Wait a minute, what was that?" PJ asked next, also whipping around to see.

"Now who's the stupidhead, stupidhead?"

In the middle of them having a tongue-poking fight, an animal jumped out of the surrounding bushes between them.

They let out high pitched, extremely girly, screams as the racoon hissed and bared its teeth. Immediately they ran out of the dense forest area back towards the clearing where they were camping, and the animal chased them.

"Mom!" Kitty screamed. "Daddy! Help us!"

Aaron and Emily rushed back to the campsite to see PJ and Kitty being chased by a racoon, and they couldn't help but laugh.

"Girls, its just a racoon," Emily pointed out between giggles.

"But it tried to bite me!" Kitty screamed.

"And it hissed and tried to scratch me too!" PJ added.

Aaron stopped laughing, but it took him a while. "Settle down, if you leave it alone it'll go away. Just don't let it anywhere near the food or you won't have anything to eat for a while."

"Racoons like to scavenge for scraps and everything else nutritious, so just beware," Emily also extended the warning, before turning back towards the lake. "I'm gonna get back to my fishing rod and comfy camp chair now; I never get to relax anymore, so I'm going to take advantage of this trip now."

The twins watched as their mother walked away, their father just smirked, and the racoon continued to hiss and bear its teeth at them. They shrank away in fear.

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The surrounding night was as silent as it was dark. All four Hotchner's were asleep in their two tents, oblivious to the parties that were happening outside of both and inside of one.

The twins, planning payback on their parents, were whispering by the subdued shine of a flashlight beneath a sleeping bag. Still covered in mosquito bites, this time they had sprayed their tent with bug spray in an effort to keep the mozzies away.

Unbeknownst to them, Emily had traded the solution for sugar water earlier in the week. To say they were being eaten alive was an understatement.

Outside, the racoon was back, and this time had brought some friends. Taking advantage of the unprotected food and unsupervised rubbish, he and his marsupial friends began rummaging through the scraps, the esky and other collection of accessories the family had unwittingly left out of the tents.

Eventually, the light in the twins' tent switched off, and as the darkness overcame them once again, no one was aware of the havoc being wrecked beyond the tent zips.

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The dawning of the sun was what drew Emily Hotchner out of her deep sleep, and she stretched before unzipping the tent and stepping outside.

"What the…?"

She had to rub the sleep out of her eyes to make sure what she saw was real.

Mass destruction of the campsite.

"Aaron!"

Aaron Hotchner almost fell out of their tent in response to his wife's screams; he was wearing a singlet, boxers and a pair of track pants only on one leg, hence the falling part of the morning.

"What, Em?"

"What the hell happened here?" she shrieked. "I distinctly remember cleaning everything up and putting it away before I went to sleep last night!"

"You mean before you had wild camping sex with Dad," PJ spoke up, emerging from her tent. She received a death glare rival to those normally saved for disdainful politicians and un-subs.

Aaron sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Well, at least we can still fish for food."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Emily muttered from behind him.

Aaron immediately spun around to see the tackle box overturned, the contents spread across the ground, and the lines of the fishing rods tangled beyond belief. "Ah, crap," he muttered, running his hand through his hair again. "Dave's gonna kill me for this."

"It's ok, what else can go wrong?" Emily asked optimistically.

The other three glared at her, and she smiled, before immediately screaming again as rain poured down on them. The twins laughed and frolicked in the rain, splashing each other, while Emily just collapsed where she was standing.

"Can this get any worse?" she moaned into her hands.

A loud roar erupted from behind them.

"Oh shit."

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Watching their parents pack up their camping gear quickly, PJ and Kitty were laughing from the front of their tent.

"Genius idea to leave the food out," Kitty whispered.

"I know, and to summon the bear by leaving out the meat!"

"Best idea ever!"

Emily and Aaron, though making lots of noise, could hear everything their daughters were saying.

"What?" Emily screamed. "You two had something to do with this?"

The twins looked at each other and shrugged. "Maybe…"

Aaron sighed. "Clean up the campsite now. You have one hour to pack up your tent, everything in it, and all the food and cooking gear. If you're not done, then we'll leave without you."

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The trek back to the SUV was quiet, as the girls sulked and Emily stewed.

"I can't believe they fucking did that," she muttered under her breath, violently stabbing things with the stick she was using to guide her. "Of all the things they've ever done, I can't fucking believe they did that!"

"Em, take a breath."

"Take a breath! You want me to take a fucking breath, Aaron! I've been looking forward to this trip for weeks, and they've just fucking ruined it!" she turned around to face the silent twins behind them. "You two are so fucking lucky I haven't ripped your heads off your fucking shoulders, and you still have to explain to Dave why his fishing gear is ruined!"

"Emily! Calm down!" Aaron shouted. "I think they get the picture."

Emily growled at her husband before turning around and continuing down the path in a huff. She stormed off leaving a sting of expletives behind.

Aaron turned to the twins. "You two deserved that, and anything else she dishes out." He turned and followed his wife, leaving the twins behind. He walked a few metres before noticing they hadn't followed him. "Move!"

They arrived at the SUV to see Emily taping her foot in impatience, resting against an open door. "Hurry up."

The girls hurried their way to the vehicle, packing everything in haphazardly, and sitting silently in their seats.

Aaron and Emily sat in the driver and passenger seats respectively, and Aaron started the car.

Emily pulled out her cell to call her best friend and talk to her other children, but before that she turned to the children that were with her.

"By the way, you're both grounded for the rest of the summer."

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I know it's crap, but I'd love a review or two before you leave please =)


	7. Four White Walls 2021

Four White Walls

This was written for the Chit Chat on the Author's Corner October Halloween Candyland Challenge.

Assigned pairing: JJ/Reid

Assigned candy: Milky Way

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"_Mom, what should we theme Amity's nursery?" Henry asked one day, walking into his mother's kitchen._

"_Say what now?"_

_Henry sat down on a stool, grabbing the beans she was topping and tailing and took over from her. "Amity's nursery; Audrey and I need to decorate it before the adoption goes through and we can't decide what theme to go with. At the moment all we have is four white walls."_

"_Ah," JJ sighed, pulling the lasagne out of the oven. Someone had put it in earlier and it was now ready. "The great nursery debate; the last person I helped with that problem was Spencer."_

"_Ooh, really?"_

"_Mmhmm."_

_There was a pregnant pause._

"_Well, are you gonna tell me?"_

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_May 2021_

JJ and Reid stood in the middle of the empty room that was to serve as the nursery for his twins, when they were born. Austin was only a little more than four months pregnant, but Spencer was a little too excited to be planning for the two baby girls she would be giving him.

"Spence, stop bouncing," JJ ordered, running a hand through her blonde hair.

The younger man stopped bouncing, and they stared up at the still blank ceiling.

"Have you and Austin given any thought as to what the theme should be?"

"Well," Spencer began. "We can choose educational themes like the jungle, or a bright, primary colours theme based on the circus, or we can just use animals, or stick to a colour scheme, or…"

"Spencer. Stop. Talking." This was getting very old, very quickly.

"Yes, JJ."

The blonde sighed and ran a hand through her hair again. "When I was pregnant with Henry, Will loved the idea of the Milky Way galaxy. You can tailor the colours depending on sex, and it can be educational to a point as long as any decals are accurate."

They stood in silence again, and Spencer began to rock back and forth on his heels. JJ sighed. "Ok, say it."

The genius smiled. "Technically, it's not called the milky way…"

"Talk about something else, Spence."

"Oh, ok," he paused. "The galaxy theme could prove to be highly entertaining and educational for the twins, like you said. We could hire an interior decorator to ensure accuracy, and compare all placements with relevant star charts. All furniture could be painted white, and the colour scheme could be navy blue, white, silver, indigo and violet. We could put a rocking chair for Austin over by the window, and the two cribs next to each other by that wall over there, and the changing table…"

JJ stopped listening as the genius kept talking. She didn't need to decorate another nursery; her youngest daughter was four-and-three-quarters, and never let anyone forget it.

She was glad, however, to see the man she considered her younger brother so entirely fascinated and excited by the miracle that was life, and the two new lives that would be entering his by the end of the year.

The room, to her, consisted of four plain, white walls and a door. It was a large window with a gorgeous view of the backyard, where the rocking chair would eventually sit. It was a built in wardrobe that would be nowhere near big enough for the amount of items Spencer's twin daughters would need. To her, it was just an empty room.

To him, the room was full of possibilities, full of potential. The four white walls would eventually look like outer space, the empty area filled with baby paraphernalia, the room filled with love, laughter and joy. To Spencer, this room was the beginning of the rest of his life.


	8. The Great Furniture Debate 2009

The Great Furniture Debate

This is a pinch hit for Rossi's Lil Devil on the Chit Chat September Pick Your Own Pairing challenge

Pairing: H/P

Scenario: Pairing X go furniture shopping for their first home together

**I also dedicate this Scrapbook story to my new friend, hotchityhotchhotch, who wrote a one-shot for me yesterday. We both agree one-shots are more trouble than they're worth, yet we still write them anyway!  
**

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_September 2021_

"_Um, Jack, why does your house look like something straight out of an IKEA catalogue?" Jack's girlfriend Sam asked him._

_Jack had finally brought her home to meet his family and he hoped his sisters wouldn't scare her away. He really, really liked Sam. He sighed. "When we first moved here, Mom was of the opinion that we didn't have enough stuff to furnish the house, so she dragged Dad and I to IKEA one day. I suppose this is what happens when you let her loose in one of those giant places and then let her re-visit it every time she 'needs' something."_

_Sam laughed. "Don't get me wrong, I love it, but Jared worked at IKEA to put himself through college, and I recognise a lot of things, that's all."_

"_Okay then," Jack smiled. "As long as you're cool with it…"_

"_Cool with what?" Emily asked as she walked into the living room._

"_Sam was just asking why this place looks like an IKEA catalogue."_

_Emily paused for a moment and looked around the house. "Huh, I never noticed that before. How did that happen?"_

"_If you think this is bad, you should have seen our last house," Aaron commented, walking through the room._

"_Hey, you're the one who gave me free reign with this one!"_

_Jack and Sam just looked at each other and laughed._

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_March 2009_

"Aaron, we don't have enough furniture to fully furnish this house properly!" Emily exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.

Her fiancé and his son stood in the middle of the entrance hall, surrounded by boxes. It was kind of true; they only had enough furniture for half of the house, and anything they did have didn't match properly.

"And what do you suppose we do about it?" Aaron asked, knowing he was going to regret asking this.

Emily smiled evilly; she had been waiting for this opportunity for such a long time. "Well, Jack does need a new bedroom suite, and we now have this living room to do up, the man room can have all the furniture you want to keep and the attic office can have anything else."

"Where do you want to go?" Aaron asked dejectedly. He knew this weekend was going to be very expensive. Their new house in Woodbridge, Virginia, was closer to Quantico, and still in a decent school district, but it wasn't one known for the views of the high status associated with her last apartment in Washington.

"Well, there's an IKEA on Potomac Mills Circle," Emily smiled. "My mother has furnished every house, mansion and/or apartment I have ever lived in, and I want our home to be ours," she pleaded.

Aaron sighed. "Well, what does Jack think about this?" he turned to his son. Emily not so subtly pulled an IKEA catalogue out from the box she was standing next to, and opened it to the page filled with kids toys.

Jack saw the page filled with bright colours and was immediately excited. "I wanna go there!"

Emily looked up at Aaron, and he sighed, dropping his shoulders. "Fine. But, anything you want to buy has to be done today. I am not going back to that place if you forget something."

"That's okay," she smiled. "They have online purchasing."

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The moment Aaron drove their SUV into the IKEA carpark, he wanted to turn around and go straight back home. He had never seen so many cars in one place for one stand alone store, ever.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked his fiancé.

"Aaron!" Emily was shocked. "Have you ever known me to do something I don't want to do?" he just looked at her. "Yeah, don't answer that. Of course I want to do this! Apparently they even have a restaurant and a free supervised play facility we can leave Jack in for half an hour."

Aaron sighed and pulled the car into a spot, ready for the torture that was shopping with Emily. "Are you sure you don't want me to call JJ or Garcia for you, I don't know how much help I'll actually be…" he trailed off, trying desperately to get out of the shopping trip.

"Aaron, get out of the damn car and stop complaining."

"Oooh, Emmy, you said a bad word!"

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Two and a half hours later, Aaron fell into a lounge in the middle of the busiest restaurant he had ever seen. Jack was still almost bouncing off the walls in excitement; a soda refill had seen to that.

"Ok, so I brought you some of their famous Swedish Meatballs," Emily said, placing a tray down on the table in front of him. "Apparently people go crazy over these things. I also got Jack some mac 'n cheese, though it looks a little iffy, and I have pasta."

Aaron smiled. "Caffeine?"

Emily pulled two coffee mugs out of her massive handbag. "And all you can drink coffee for both of us; Little Hotch gets chocolate milk."

"Thanks Emmy! You're the best!"

The whole time they were eating the conversation was flowing; what one thought of a particular couch, what the other thought of this bedroom suite versus that bedroom suite, if Jack liked any of the beds for him they had looked at, and so on.

"Emmy, am I getting a new bed today?" Jack pleaded.

Emily sighed. "Maybe, Jackster. We have to see what else is in the rest of the store first. Did you keep that list I wrote down of where everything is? I gave it to you before for safekeeping."

Jack rummaged around in his pocket for the foldout map and shopping list, and accompanying pencil, before pulling it out triumphantly, if not a little worse for wear. "Here it is! I kept it safe for you!"

"That you did, Jack, thank you." She looked at the paper. "Ok, so we still have to choose a bed for us, but we decided on a bed for Jack, a TV unit and a couple of couches. We need mattresses for the beds, pillows, quilts, sheets and such. I'm kinda glad we've already got a fully furnished kitchen; building one here would be awesome but I think it's a little too much for today."

"Thank god," Aaron moaned. "I don't think the bank account would recover from a hit like that."

"Ha ha, very funny," Emily sneered in return. "I think next time I'll bring JJ and Pen and leave you at home; even Jack can come, he's having fun shopping with me."

"I'm finished!" the little boy announced, and Emily placed her cup on the table. "Can I go choose my sheets now?"

"Only if you like plain ones," she teased, standing up. "We can't get Captain America sheets from IKEA, buddy."

Jack shrugged. "Okay then. Can I pick out the sheets for you and Daddy?"

Emily smiled. "Of course you can. We just need to decide on which bed we want first."

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The bedroom department saw Jack bouncing randomly on display beds while Aaron and Emily argued over mattresses.

"I hate hard mattresses Aaron, you know that!"

"And what about me? Soft mattresses kill my back!"

"Um, excuse me?"

The pair looked up from their argument to see one of the staff approaching them cautiously. "Can I help you with anything?"

Aaron and Emily glared at each other before they both turned back to the yellow-clad woman. "We're arguing about mattresses. We've chosen which frame we like but we can't agree on the mattress," Aaron injected before Emily could speak.

"Well, that I can help you with, if you'll follow me."

Calling Jack over first, Emily followed the woman, whose name tag said 'Belinda', to the mattress display.

"Our range of Sultan mattresses comes in three different degrees of softness. After overhearing your conversation, I think you'll both be comfortable with the mid-range mattress. It's neither too hard nor too soft and offers excellent chiropractic support."

"Really?" Emily asked, smirking at Aaron. "Can we test that theory?"

Belinda nodded. "Sure, these ones are available for you to try out. It you'll just tell me the name of the frame you've chosen I can see if they are compatible."

The helpfulness of the woman stunned Aaron; he and Emily hadn't been able to settle an argument that quickly and concisely in a very long time.

"Well, Jackster, what do you think of the new mattress?" Emily asked the little boy who was cuddling her body. "Do you think daddy will agree with me that this is the one we want?"

Jack nodded eagerly. "Emmy, it's very comfy. Can I have one?"

Aaron laughed. "Buddy, your new bed has a new mattress too just for you, just like this one is for Emily and I. Is that okay?"

The little boy nodded eagerly and sat up. "Yep! And when I get bigger my little sister can have it!"

The mentioning of a little sister stunned Aaron and Emily; they had yet to have that conversation. Luckily, they were saved by Belinda returning with a few sheets of paper.

"You're in luck, the bed frame and mattress are compatible. This here is your purchase order; just present it at the checkout to pay for it and then collect it from merchandise pick up. Have a great day!"

Emily quickly replied with a thank you and started to walk off, leaving the boys behind.

"Em, where are you going?" Aaron called out after her.

"Downstairs! The map says textiles is where I can get sheets and stuff! You guys can catch up when you're ready!"

The boys watched as she hurried away, neither knowing what had happened.

"Daddy, is Emmy okay?"

Aaron smiled slightly. "Buddy, Emmy's fine. I think you just scared her a little when you mentioned your baby sister."

Jack smiled at his father. "But that's what Emmy has in her belly! Aunt Penny told me that's where babies grow."

"Does Emmy know about this?" Aaron asked carefully. "Did she tell you?"

Jack shook his head. "Nope. I just know; my baby sister is growing in her tummy!"

Aaron crouched down to Jack's level and stared into his eyes. "Jack, I know you want a baby sister, and I think Emily does too, but maybe we can ask her at home."

Jack sighed. "But daddy, that means I'm not gonna get a baby sister!"

"Jack," Aaron sighed. "How about I promise that we talk about this with Emily and see what she says? We can go from there, ok?"

The little boy nodded and raised his arm for his dad to pick him up. Aaron did so; he didn't have the chance to cuddle his son in that manner much any more.

"Come on buddy, let's go find where Emmy's hiding and stop her from buying the entire store.

If Aaron wasn't already smiling, Jack's contagious giggle would have made both dimples appear in full strength.

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Emily was fretting as she dug through a bin full of quilts. She couldn't be pregnant, could she? She had only run out of her pill the week before and hadn't had a chance to refill the prescription between her normal work duties and Strauss's training. But, even still, it was really, _really_ unlikely that she'd fall pregnant in that short amount of time.

Finding the correct size and pattern, she threw the quilt for her and Aaron's bed in the rapidly-filling trolley and sighed. She thought about what JJ or Penelope would say in this situation, or what statistics Reid would start reciting.

The thought of her being pregnant didn't scare her, per say; everyone knew she desperately wanted a family, but her being told by a five year old boy was a little scary. Emily paused for a minute; the longer she thought about it, the more appealing a baby girl, the perfect mix of her and Aaron with a little bit of Jack, sounded.

"Emmy!"

She was only alerted to Jack's pending arrival by his scream as he ran through the previous department towards her; she barely had time to brace herself before he slammed into her body at the best speed a five year old could make.

"Emmy, I love you," he murmured into her pants. Emily stoked his head and looked up to see her fiancé approaching them. She shot his a questioning gaze, and he reassured her with a comforting smile.

Apparently, the conversation had been had and once again, all was well.

"I love you too, Jack."

Jack took his face out of her pants and looked up at her, still clutching her leg. "Sorry for scaring you before, Emmy," he apologised. "I already telled Daddy it's all Aunt Penny's fault."

This comment made Emily chuckle. "It's ok Jack, I forgive you. And I'm sorry for freaking out and running away. Would you like to help me pick out sheets to go with this quilt cover while Daddy finds us an awesome throw rug?"

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They made it through the rest of the store without any more major problems or freak outs. Jack had a minor break down in the Home Organisation department when he and Aaron were arguing over the coloured shelves he was to have in his room; Emily settled that one quickly and quietly with a glare at both and a few short words.

Emily had a few arguments herself with Aaron in the Home Decoration department a mere fifteen minutes later; the first over wall pictures, the second was scented candles, and the third wicker storage baskets. Jack took a page out of Emily's book, telling them to kiss and make up and make a decision or he would.

Thirty minutes later, finally approaching a cashier in a seemingly never-ending queue for the registers, Jack spied a giant hotdog on the other side of the registers. Breaking away from his again-squabbling father and soon-to-be stepmother, he ran full speed towards the poor person dressed in the suit.

Aaron and Emily were still bickering when an IKEA staff member walked over with their hand on Jack's shoulder.

"Excuse me?"

The pair turned around, and frowned when they saw the sheepish look on Jack's ketchup and mustard covered face.

"Is this your son?"

Emily, a cheeky glint in her eye, shared a quick look with Aaron before, keeping a totally straight face, turned back to the young woman. "No, I'm sorry, I've never seen him before."

"But Emmy!"

The co-worker looked at Emily strangely.

"Just kidding, he's my son," Aaron smiled slightly. "What happened?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter now, just keep him with you, please," she smiled.

"Will do, thanks."

Emily could barely hold in her laughter as the woman walked away, and Aaron just shook his head at his fiancé. Jack didn't know what she was laughing at but joined in anyway, his contagious giggles feeding them for a while.

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Hours later, when they had dragged themselves home, bathed, eaten and collapsed on the couch, Aaron sighed, "Are you happy now?"

Emily smiled widely, just looking at him.

"What?" he asked suspiciously, drawing the word out.

"Wouldn't some new bookcases come in handy for all our stuff?" Emily asked innocently.

Aaron shook his head. "I am never going to that place again."

"We'll see."

They sat in silence, Jack asleep across in their laps, watching a movie on TV. Sometime later, Emily sighed again.

"What now?"

"I just remembered something."

"I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"Our attic office could do with some re-organising."

Aaron simply groaned.


	9. In the Dog House Together 2014

In the Dog House Together

Pairing: Rossi/Morgan

Prompt: Bosom Buddies

AN: When I woke up this morning, someone put this prompt in for March Madness, and I couldn't resist. This is for you.

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_September 2021_

_There was a quiet knock on the door, and Derek answered it fully armed. It was almost nine at night, and normally no one came knocking after nightfall._

"_Hi Derek."_

_It was Spencer at the door, looking totally crestfallen and about to cry. Derek smiled; he knew exactly what this was about. "Man, what did you do to Austin for her to kick you out this late at night?"_

"_I impregnated her with twin female foetuses," Reid deadpanned. "Wait, how did you know?"_

_Derek smirked. "Young grasshopper, you have much to learn," he said as he ushered the younger man inside. "Have I ever told you about the first time I landed in the dog house when Penelope was pregnant?"_

_January 2014_

The bar wasn't as crowded as it should have been for a Thursday night, but for once, Derek Morgan couldn't care less. Sighing heavily, he slipped into a booth in the back, way away from the dance floor and the bar itself, and began to drown himself in the bourbon he had ordered.

It had all started that morning. He could see it wouldn't be a good day at work when they were summoned at 4am; the child abduction case they were working in the city became active again after three days of stagnation. Having to drag his wife out of bed before the sun had risen was hard on the best of days; it was even worse when a) it was still winter and therefore very cold, and b) Penelope Morgan was pregnant with triplets who sucked the 'ever living daylight' out of her multiple times a day.

Despite only being about three months pregnant, the pregnancy hormones were kicking in with a passion, hence the reason he was patronising the bar on a weeknight, something he hadn't done alone in years.

He sighed heavily again and took another drink of the bourbon, relishing as the liquid burned its way down his throat. Another person slipped into the seat opposite him, and he groaned into the cup without looking up to see who it was.

"Darling, whoever you are, I'm not good company tonight," he muttered.

"That's ok, Morgan, I'm pretty sure I'm here for the same reason."

Derek looked up at the sound of Rossi's voice and smirked. "Man, I'm here because my pregnant wife kicked me out before she killed me."

"Me too," Dave took a sip of his single malt whiskey and smiled into the glass. "Young grasshopper, you have much to learn."

Morgan scoffed and shook his head. "Don't _ever_ do that again."

Dave smirked at the younger man. "So, what did you do to Penelope for her to kick you out of the house mid-week?"

"I could ask you the same question, man, but we both know part of the answer," Derek sighed. "Why we ever wanted kids, I'll never know…"

"Because once they're born, it's all worth it," Dave said. "You just have to get through pregnancy first; it's like a period of adjustment, with you ending up in the dog house more often than not."

Morgan chuckled and raised his glass. "To the dog house!"

"Cheers," Dave returned the toast.

They sat in silence for a further few minutes, until both had emptied their glasses.

"You reckon they've calmed down yet?" Derek asked hopefully.

"Nah," Dave shook his head. "We're destined to be bosom buddies for a while longer yet."

"Man," Morgan whined. "Don't _ever_ say that again, either!"

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An hour or so later, when Derek re-entered the house warily, he was surprised to find his wife curled up on the couch, sobs shaking her body.

"Baby girl, what are you crying for?" he asked, stepping quickly to tuck her into his side and rub his hand down her back.

"Next time I kick you out, don't leave," she sobbed. "I thought you weren't coming back."

"Baby girl, I'll always come back," Morgan soothed her. "No matter what, I'll always come back home to you."

They spent the next few hours sitting on the couch, in each others arms, reaffirming their love for each other.

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Around the same time, David Rossi snuck back into the Little Creek house where he, Jen and Henry had gone to escape the confines of the city for a while.

"Hold it right there, mister."

Dave stopped and swore under his breath. This was what he was trying to avoid. His wife was still pissed off.

"I thought I told you not to bother coming home tonight."

"I was going to sleep on the couch in my office," he said quietly. "I was going to let you sleep, and not come anywhere near you with anything less than a fifty foot pole, just like you told me," he tried to negotiate.

"I distinctly remember telling you not to come home tonight!" Jen all but screamed at him. "Get out!"

Dave threw his hands up in the air. "Okay, okay, I'm leaving. See you at the office tomorrow?" he asked hopefully.

"Don't push your luck, mister," Jennifer growled.

Dave sighed and hung his head as he exited the house, ready to return to their city apartment for the night. It looked like he was still in the dog house, and was destined to be for a while longer.


	10. Night of Nights 2016

**CM – Night of Nights?**

**Valentines Day 2016; Dave treats his wife to a romantic, childless night on the town; Jen treats her husband to a secret she's been keeping**

**Pairing: JJ/Rossi**

**Song: Hello (Ritchie)**

**Prompts: chocolate cake, a pregnancy, candles**

**Gift for Dark-Hunterfan1995**

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_**2034**_

_Emily was flicking through her scrapbook, thinking back to when the children were younger, and she had a lot less grey hair._

_A collection of small Valentine's Day photos caught her eye, and she saw random snapshots from the one-ders. Her eyes drew her attention to a particular photo, not of her and Aaron, but of Dave and Jen Rossi outside a restaurant on hearts day. No one was entirely certain where the photo had come from, just that it had appeared as an email a few days later, and everyone had instantly fallen in love with it._

_Jen liked it because it showed a candid moment with her husband, at a time where they were at their happiest._

_Emily liked it for a similar reason, and she believed the candid shots were the windows to the soul._

_She sat back on the couch and thought back to the night in question._

**14 February 2016**

"Are you sure Natalia is okay with the kids by herself?" Jennifer Jareau Rossi asked her husband as he helped her out of her coat. They had just arrived at the exclusive Georgetown restaurant for their Valentine's night dinner reservation, and were in the middle of checking their coats before being escorted to their table.

"Jen, honey, Gabby is almost two, and Henry is nine," he sighed. "Take a deep breath and relax, it's just like any other night we've gone out or out of town for work."

"But that's not the point!" she threw her hands up in exasperation. "Maybe we should just go home," she turned to leave, but Dave caught her arm.

"Jen, you're hiding something," he said quietly. "I know you are, and I know you have been for the past six or so weeks. I just haven't called you out on it because I've been on those publicity tours. Do you want to tell me about it?"

She sighed heavily and sat down in the plush chair; the waiter pushed it in as she sat down, and offered both of them menus.

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials?" he asked dutifully.

Dave shook his head before looking back to his wife. "Jen, it's Valentines Day. What I want is to have a lovely romantic dinner before we head back to the city apartment for a night of passionate sex while we are childless. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No," she sighed heavily, resigning herself to the fact that she would finally reveal the secret she had been keeping from her husband. "Sounds like a plan."

They sat in silence, the soft coloured candlelight casting shadows on each other from the small red glass in the centre of the table.

"Dave," Jen started quietly, looking up to stare into his eyes. "You can't get mad at me for not telling you sooner…"

Dave was puzzled. "Cara, what do you mean?"

"Promise me, David," she reiterated, grabbing his hand across the table. "Promise me you won't be mad."

He didn't break eye contact as he replied, "Jennifer, I could never be mad at you."

'_Wanna make a bet?'_ was the first thought that ran through her head. "You need to promise," she whispered.

"I promise," he said with fervour, grasping both of her hands on top of the table.

Jennifer took a deep breath, her eyes almost spilling the built up tears. "I'm pregnant," she whispered, dropping her eyes to the off white tablecloth.

"What?" Dave asked. "I didn't quite hear you."

Jen looked up at him again. "I'm pregnant," she repeated.

"Again?" he asked in shock. "Really? I thought the doctor's said the chances of you conceiving again after Gabby was negligible!"

"It's true," she continued, her voice slowly gaining strength. "I'm about 10 weeks gone."

Her husband was gobsmacked; happy, but gobsmacked nonetheless. "Is the baby alright?" he couldn't help but ask.

"You're not mad?" she seemed surprised. "I thought you'd be mad, or at least bothered, that I didn't tell you earlier."

"Jen, I'm happy," he smiled, caressing her hands. "I understand why you didn't tell me; I was on tour, and if you had told me, I would have come home immediately. As long as both of you are fine, then I'm okay with it. I just don't want to be left out of anything else."

Jen smiled and visibly relaxed for the first time since they had entered the restaurant. "Thanks for understanding," she smiled even wider. "So, I believe you brought me here for a lovely romantic dinner before a night of passionate sex?"

Dave at least had the good graces to blush.

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Dinner passed quickly; a prior acquaintance with the head chef meant that the infamous David Rossi and his beloved wife were served items not from the menu, but from the private collection of Pierre la Manche. The meal finished with Chef la Manche's signature heart shaped chocolate cake, one enough to make anyone's mouth water on sight.

"Are you ready to celebrate our newest family member?" Dave asked quietly, after they had stepped out of the restaurant onto the sidewalk. He pressed his chest up against her back, circling his arms around her to lay his hands on her abdomen.

A camera flashed in the background, but they took no notice of it; the famous restaurant was situated in a popular, upscale Georgetown district, where the rich and famous were often sighted. The only thing that mattered was each other, and the love they shared.

It was only a short taxi ride to their inner-city apartment, the one Jen had previously occupied before moving in to the Little Creek house years before, and they were greeted by the doorman as they entered the building. After opening the door, Dave hit the master power switch on the wall.

It surprised Jen when, instead of the lighting system she knew well, they were greeted with soft light from random lamps scattered across the smaller living area. The stereo in the corner also turned on, and the soft, melodic voice of Lionel Ritchie singing 'Hello' began flowing through the room.

"Dave," she gasped. "When did you have time to do this?"

Her husband shrugged. "I've had some time on my hands, and I've been planning this for months; with us at work all the time, and the kids at home, we almost never have time to ourselves. Tonight gives us the perfect excuse, both the holiday and your news."

Jen smiled widely. "I can't believe you've done all of this just to spend more time with me."

"Honey, we have two young kids, and now a third on the way; we're never going to have time to ourselves any more."

The smile on her face turned into a smirk, and Jen let her coat drop to the floor and stepped out of the low heels she had matched to her outfit. "One last night before I start feeling like a whale and acting like an emotional tornado?" she asked slyly, unbuttoning her top.

Dave's eyes were glued to her chest; her breasts were already starting to swell, just like last time, and her abdomen was more rounded than usual. It was hard for him to believe he had actually missed these signs of her body changing; they had been through it before, once as a couple, and when she was pregnant with Henry, and he still missed the signs.

She let the shirt drop off her shoulders in the same fashion as her coat, and let it fall to the floor to pool around her ankles. She reached behind her, never breaking eye contact with her husband, and gently lowered the zipper of her skirt, just enough for it to join her shirt and coat, leaving her in matching lace bra and panties.

"My God, Jen, you're so beautiful," Dave breathed, taking a step towards his wife.

Jen smiled and took a step forward to meet him. "Show me."

And he did.

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

Hours later, Dave woke up with his wife in his arms. They were on the rug by the fireplace, naked bodies covered by a fleecy woollen rug knitted by her grandmother. The candles had long since burned out, the fireplace the only source of light for the whole apartment, sans digital clocks on random appliances, and Dave couldn't help but think how peaceful it was. He turned to look at his wife's sleeping face; she looked so innocent, with her eyes closed and her facial muscles in a neutral position.

Suddenly struck by inspiration, he grabbed his phone from a small shelf next to the fireplace; Jen had put them within arms reach hours ago so they wouldn't lose either their comfortable positions or the warmth of each other if, by chance, someone happened to ring them. He opened up an internet browser on the smartphone, quickly googling the meaning of a name.

"Dave, you're thinking too loud, it's waking me up," his wife mumbled from her comfortable perch.

"Sorry, Cara," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair. "I like the name Imogen," he said a few minutes later.

"Huh?" she was slowly waking up and it took a little while to click. "Baby names?"

Dave nodded. "If it's a girl, I'd like to name her Imogen; it literally means innocent girl."

Jen smiled up at her husband. "That's beautiful; Imogen Rossi."

"Imogen Cassandra Rossi," Dave amended.

"After your grandmother, or the sister you lost?"

Dave smiled as he replied, "Both." He loved that she knew so much about him, and never judged the important decisions. "Thank you, Jen."

Jen sighed and dropped her hands to her abdomen, Dave's settling on top of hers moments later. "Imogen Cassandra Rossi," she smiled.

They sat like that for a while longer, until a thought suddenly ran through her head.

"But what if it's a boy?"


	11. The Naming of the Two 2013

_The Naming of the Two_

_The title comes from the Shakespeare production "The Taming of the Shrew", not that I have seen it. I like this chapter, even though I'm primarily writing it in the middle of my uni lectures… _

_This is only a short one, but it's sweet._

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

_**March 2029**_

"_Okay, whose bonehead idea was it to give me such a long name?" sixteen year old PJ Hotchner screamed from the kitchen table. Her and Kitty were sitting there filling in multiple applications for their drivers' licences, passports, registration and insurance, just to name a few, and so far PJ had had to completely write out her name close to a dozen times._

"_What?" Emily asked, walking into the kitchen._

"_My name?" PJ screamed. "It takes so long every time, and I'm kinda OVER IT!"_

_Aaron sighed as he walked into the kitchen for a coffee refill and sat down between the twins. "Blame your aunts for that one," he said. "Your uncles were given a chance to name your sister."_

"_What was that chance?" PJ huffed. _

"_I offered them a choice of Katherine Grace, Catherine Grace, or Kathryn Grace," Jack Hotchner said as he walked in. His girlfriend, Sam, walked in behind him._

_Emily shook her head as she leaned against the kitchen bench._

"_Funny," PJ huffed again, and Emily had to try not to laugh into her coffee cup. She failed._

"_It was her idea," Jack said, pointing to his step mother but still looking at his sisters. "She was the one who gave Aunt Pen and Aunt Jen free reign with your name."_

"_So I can blame you?" PJ sneered at her mother._

"_Sure, you can blame me," Emily shrugged. "There's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out if that's how you feel."_

_Once again huffing, PJ returned to the form she was filling out._

_The kitchen was silent for a few moments, everyone either sipping their coffee or scribbling their details on a sheet of paper, until the silence was once again broken._

"_How the hell did Aunt Pen and Aunt Jen come up with my name anyway?" PJ threw into the room._

_Aaron sighed. "PJ, just shut up and sign your name."_

_Emily grinned as her youngest daughter poked her tongue out at her father. Hearing a vague "I saw that," from her husband, she pulled up an empty chair from the table and set her cup down. "Do you really want to know?" she asked the twins._

_Both stopped what they were doing and looked up expectantly. Emily turned slightly to see everyone else was listening too, even though both Jack and Aaron knew most of the story._

"_Well, it all started the night before Jen and Dave's wedding…"_

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

**March 2013**

"Her name will be PJ," Emily said, showing the ultrasound photo to her best friends. "What it stands for is up to you, just make sure it's not too outrageous please." Emily was six months pregnant, and the twins had just made their genders known to their parents on the latest ultrasound.

Garcia smiled. "Em, you're naming her after us?"

Emily nodded. "It cannot be Penelope Jennifer, though. The twins are fraternal girls, and the boys get to name the other twin Katherine Grace, they just don't know it yet. We're letting Jack drop the bomb."

Jen laughed. "Darling, you're evil. I guess this means Amelia will be with you for another eighteen years then?"

"Don't be silly, fifteen year olds can look after themselves," Penelope argued. "Amelia only has fifteen years left. Besides, by then, our lovely Hotchner's should be close to retirement."

"Hey, are you calling my soon-to-be-husband old?" Jen bit back. "Dave's that old now, and he's still working!"

"Jen, darling, you only have Henry," Emily interrupted. "Aaron and I will have Jack, Audrey, PJ and Kitty, and by that time, Jack will probably have a family of his own!"

"And what makes you think Henry won't?"

"The twins will be fifteen, Audrey seventeen and Henry will be twenty-one. Hopefully he'll still be in college partying too hard every weekend to be worrying about a family."

"And keeping out of Audrey's pants," Penelope giggled.

"What?" JJ and Emily shrieked.

Penelope shrugged. "You guys haven't noticed it? Henry loves Audrey. She's all he talks about around me; how he's going to marry her one day and they'll be a mommy and daddy and have their own family."

Emily sighed heavily. "Pen, Audrey's just turned two, and Henry's six. How can you possibly know or believe anything they're talking about?"

Penelope shrugged again. "Em, they're my god-kids, I listen to everything they say, and I don't question it. You two just have to deal with it."

JJ sighed. Some bachelorette party she was having. She was supposed to be spending her last night as a single woman having fun, not discussing her six year old's nonexistent love life or Emily's unborn twins.

"What about Persephone?" Penelope burst out.

Emily shook her head. "Aw, hell no. We are not naming her after any Greek gods or goddesses. Not only will Aaron brutally murder you, she will spend the rest of her life hating all of us!"

Jennifer laughed. "You know what I just realised?"

"What?"

"You can't call me JJ anymore. Tomorrow I will be Jennifer Augustine Rossi, and I _will_ be changing my name."

Emily and Penelope sat in silence for a minute, apparently deep in thought, before Emily jumped in her seat suddenly.

"What?" the other two asked.

Emily smiled. "One of them just kicked," she said excitedly, placing a hand to the side of her six-month gone bump. "Put your hand here," she directed their hands to where hers was, and they waited for it to happen again.

"Come on Kitty," Emily encouraged quietly, but nothing happened. "PJ?" she tried, and they all shrieked as the baby kicked.

"I think PJ likes her name," Penelope said as the baby kicked again.

"I think so too," Emily replied quietly, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I love you guys."

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

**April 2013**

"I figured it out!" Penelope exclaimed, running into Emily's office one afternoon, a few days after Jennifer and Dave's return from their honeymoon.

"What have you got, Penelope?" Emily asked, sighing heavily. She was happy for the distraction; not only were the twins happily playing a game of soccer, she had to take care of the section's acquisition paperwork that day as well.

"PJ! I figured it out!"

Emily looked at her best friend, her eyebrows doing the talking, and Penelope smiled. "Okay, so maybe me and Gumdrop figured it out together, but I thought I'd tell you now, so you actually know what to put on her birth certificate, not that they'll be making their appearance anytime soon, right girls. Anyway, we were…"

"Penelope!"

The TA looked at Emily and smiled sheepishly.

"Are you gonna tell me, or do you want me to kick you out again?"

"Priscilla-Jacqueline Annabeth Hotchner, ma'am."

Emily sat back in her comfortable chair and placed her hands on her very swollen abdomen. "Hmmm, Priscilla-Jacqueline Annabeth Hotchner, what do you think?" she smiled as the baby kicked, and looked up at her best friend. "Why the middle name?"

Penelope shrugged. "Derek and I were watching _Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief_ the other day, and the heroine's name was Annabeth, which I thought was pretty, and even though you didn't ask for a middle name, I thought it also went well with Priscilla-Jacqueline, whom by the way were my great aunt and Gumdrop's great-grandmother respectively, so we put it all together and viola!"

Emily smiled and shook her head. "Penelope, exactly how much caffeine have you had today?"

The woman stood dumbstruck in the middle of the spacious office, silent for the first time since barging in, and Emily sighed.

"That's what I thought. Now, go do some work before I have your boss chase you back into your lair."

Without replying, Penelope turned on her heel and ran out of the door, her proverbial tail between her legs.

Emily sat back in her chair and giggled. Yeah, she still had the touch.


	12. PotterMania 2023

Potter-Mania

This one was written for the 'March Madness' Challenge on the Chit Chat forum. My prompts were Prentiss/Garcia and the TV show 'Charmed'.

I found this one really hard to write, but eventually this popped into my head, either at work or in the middle of a uni lecture. It's definitely not one of my longest, nor one of my shortest, but I think it'll do.

Please leave me a review if you have time, I'd love to know what you think!

* * *

"_Grandpa Jack, why are they laughing like that?" five year old Haley asked, pointing at the picture of Emily, Penelope and Jen laughing on three different couches. "They look really silly."_

_Jack saw the photo and smiled. "That particular photo, Miss Haley, goes with the one on the opposite page." He pointed at the photo of the much younger Audrey, Gabbi, Tessa, Andy and Kenzie dressed up in their Harry Potter garb._

"_Why do they look like that?" Haley's twin, Emily, asked. "They're the ones who look silly."_

"_They were playing dress-ups," Jack simplified the occasion._

"_But why is Grandma Emily laughing so hard?" Haley reiterated, as if it was the most important part._

_Jack shook his head and smiled. "This was one time where their actions weren't my fault."_

"_Huh?"_

"_Dad, use smaller words," the twins' dad, Simon, told him. "They only use simple words at the moment."_

_Jack raised his hand to flip his son off, but stopped just before he did and smiled. "Fine; this one is all you Grandma Penelope's fault."_

_**March 2023**_

"Why did we volunteer to do this again?" Emily asked, collapsing into a comfortable armchair in the Morgan's living room.

"Gluttons for punishment, honey," Penelope answered, falling into a similar armchair next to her best friend.

"Whose idea was it to introduce the girls to Harry Potter in the first place?"

Penelope sighed. "Mine. Audrey was the one who found my copies on the bookshelves."

"So you're the one I can blame for all of this!" Emily waved her hand at the group of pre-pubescent children running around the ground floor of Penelope's large house.

Penelope silently nodded, sighed, and threw her head back into the plush leather headrest.

Emily watched as her ten year old twins, Penelope's nine year old triplets, 12 year old Audrey and nine year old Gabbi Rossi chased each other around with their fake 'wands', casting 'spells' on each other.

"Any idea how to stop it?" Emily asked eventually.

Penelope sighed again. "I was just going to let it run its course; they'll get bored with it eventually."

"At least they're not in front of the TV quoting the movies word for word."

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch, sweet thing, they haven't found the DVD's yet. I'm sure that will happen sooner or later, and when it does, we'll dump them on the boys for a weekend or two."

Emily smiled then grimaced at the thought; the last time the 'boys' had the kids dumped on them for a weekend Dave needed to call professional cleaners to put his house back together.

"Ha ha, you've been charmed!" Tessa yelled as she ran through the room, tapping her mother and her aunt on the head as she went

"Ow," Penelope rubbed her head where the 'wand' had hit her. "I sear, the next time any of them do that, I'm going to kill them."

"I swear, the next time you get them hooked on anything like this, I'm going to kill you!" Emily responded.

The two of them death stared each other, then burst out laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Jen asked, walking in with Imogen by her side. "Go and play honey, we'll be here for a while."

Emily patted the couch next to her, and the blonde joined her sisters. "Pen was saying how she's going to kill the girls next time they 'charm' her, to which I responded I'd kill her next time she got them hooked on something to this extent."

Jen shook her head, trying not to laugh at the situation, which made Pen and Emily start laughing again, and all of them missed the camera flash capturing the moment forever.


	13. Young or Young at Heart 2012

**CM – Young or Young at Heart**

This one is for hotchityhotchhotch, who responded to my request for a prompt to save my sanity. Her prompt was 'big screen TV'.

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

_November 2026_

"_You know, you never told me why we always have protective adhesive on the basement TV screens," 13 year old Kitty brought up one day while she, her brother and sisters were watching a movie in the living room proper._

_22 year old Jack smiled. "You know, that's probably my fault," he answered sheepishly._

_His three sisters turned to look at him directly. "So, we can legitimately blame you?" 15 year old Audrey asked hopefully. "Like, blame you and not get in trouble for anything, blame you?"_

_Jack nodded. "For the most part, yeah; it's also partly dad's, and Uncle Dave's, fault too," he added._

"_Why?" PJ had been silent until now, which was unlike her._

_Jack sighed. "Well, it all started when a certain uncle of ours bought me a gaming console for my birthday…"_

_8 June 2012_

"Oh my god, thanks Uncle Dave!"

Jack's eighth birthday was being celebrated inside; Emily had originally organised the party to be spent in the backyard, but the surprised thunderstorm put a kibosh on those plans pretty quickly that morning. She was happy though; fitting twenty-something of Jack's classmates, plus their BAU family, into the basement and living room was actually not that hard. She just dreaded the clean up she would have to deal with.

"What did you give him?" Aaron quietly asked Dave, who was standing against the kitchen bench, watching his son unwrap his presents.

"A Nintendo Wii," Dave replied, taking a sip of the beer he had pulled from the fridge earlier, conveniently when Emily was out of the room.

Aaron sighed and shook his head. "I hope you got him some decent games; he won't be sitting in front of the TV playing it for hours and hours on end."

A wail through the baby monitor attached to his hip ended the conversation, and Aaron left to bring fifteen month old Audrey down from her nap, Dave following him upstairs.

"Of course I got him decent games, Aaron," Dave argued. "It came with Wii Sports, where you can play tennis, baseball and golf, and a few other games, including a fishing game."

"Jack doesn't fish," Aaron deadpanned, leading the older man into the nursery.

Dave shrugged and smirked into the beer bottle. "I know that, Aaron. The fishing game is for us."

Aaron shook his head before reaching into the crib for his daughter. "Hello, Miss Audrey, did you have a good nap?"

The toddler smiled and started babbling at her father, and Aaron quickly changed her diaper before all three headed back downstairs.

They had barely returned to the living room, stopping only to deposit Audrey in her playpen, when Emily cornered them; Dave quickly his the beer bottle behind his back before she could catch him drinking at her son's birthday party.

"David Rossi!" Emily stormed up and stopped inches from his face. "You bought him a gaming console?"

Aaron smiled and walked away. "You're on your own, man. I told you this was a bad idea."

"Wait a minute!" Aaron stopped in his tracks. "You knew about this?"

Aaron turned around and walked slowly back to his angry wife. "Well, I just found out as Jack opened it. But Dave said it's as much for us as it is for him!" he tried defending himself.

Emily shook her head and muttered something under her breath; both Dave and Aaron knew better than to question her.

A cheer from the living room, where Jack was continuing to open his presents with his friends, pulled their attention back from Aaron's more than slightly angry wife to the reason for her displeasure.

"What's that, Jack?" Aaron called, resuming his spot against the kitchen bench.

"The newest generation Nintendo 3DS, and a whole heap of games to go with it!" he called over his shoulder.

Aaron sighed. "Do I even want to know who gave him that?" he asked quietly.

"Man, that was all Penelope," Derek whispered, approaching the men to join them against the wall. "I tried to talk her out of it, but once Uncle Money-bags here bought him a Nintendo Wii, she had to one-up him."

"You do realise Emily's going to kill both of you when she finds out you're trying to buy our son's affections, right?"

Both men gave Aaron pointed looks. "And?" Derek asked, clearly amused.

"And you know I don't approve of gaming consoles as baby sitters," he all but growled. "I don't use them for Jack, I won't use them for Audrey, and you shouldn't use them either. It sets them up for all types of health and behavioural problems as they grow older!"

Dave shrugged. "It's took late to take them back now."

"I wouldn't say that in front of Emily if I were you."

"Say what?"

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

Aaron, Derek and Dave herded the children down to the basement, which doubled as a second living room-slash-entertainment area for Jack, to escape the wrath of his wife while she had time to clean up the mess and set out her son's requested party games, with JJ's help.

Garcia, who had appeared out of nowhere at the mention of video games, commissioned her other half to connect the new Wii console to the big screen TV bought specifically for the basement games room, under her direction.

"What game do you guys wanna play first?" Morgan asked, pulling himself out from behind the screen. "Wii Sports or Wii Carnival Games?"

Leaving the boys to battle it out on Wii Bowling, the four adults took up residence on the large corner couch, the men sporting beers from the kitchenette hidden in a darkened corner, Garcia instead choosing a soda.

"What do you think Em's going to do to us when we spend more time playing that than Jack does?" Morgan asked bravely.

"I'm more worried about what's going to happen when the 'Mote goes through the TV screen," Aaron commented.

Garcia giggled. "They have safety straps for a reason you know," she smiled, taking another sip from the soda can.

The adults fell into silence, watching the boys take turns beating each other at Bowling, sharing the four remotes between the lot of them.

"They'll be fine," Dave said after a while, watching the seven- and eight-year-olds play responsibly. "See, they're all strapping the thing to their wrists."

Garcia scoffed. "Just you wait, Boss-man, until Henry wants one of these. I'd be taking insurance out on the TV for the foreseeable future if I were you."

Dave just shook his head, and all four adults turn to face each other to battle it out, much like they would have at the office. "Sweetheart, the kids will be alright, if they know what's good for them."

"Whatever you say," she smiled and threw her hands up in surrender. "Don't listen to me, the gaming queen of the room, and just retreat into your male-dominated mentality that everything will be alright if you just ignore it…"

An almighty crash interrupted her rant, and all four of them turned to look at Jack and his friends. Only Garcia was not surprised to see a Wii remote sticking out of the middle of the screen.

Aaron, Dave and Derek looked horrified, and Jack looked like he was about to cry.

"Can I say I told you so, now?"


	14. Twin Relationships 2026

**Ok, so this is my contribution to the May Theme Song Challenge on CCOAC. I recognise it's not my best work, and just a whole lot of fluff, but whatever goes, right?**

**As always, I do not own Criminal Minds, just the children here. And the grandchildren. And the little universe I've created, which I hope you'll all enjoy.**

**Please leave a review on the way out. And if you enjoy anything else from the scrapbook (most are past challenge entries) leave reviews there too please!**

**Emma  
**

Your assigned character is: Spencer Reid  
Your assigned song title is: My Freeze Ray (Dr. Horrible's Sing Along)

_January 2044_

"_Do you remember when ours were all that small?" Spencer asked Emily, as they looked into the hospital nursery. Greyer Ryan Thompson, Kitty and Jacob's newborn son, was easily recognisable amongst the other infants occupying the room; other than his distinguishable dark hair and dimples, the large stuffed giraffe in his Perspex bassinette presented by Penelope was a large give away._

"_When they're so sweet, and can't talk back," Spencer smiled._

"_When there's only one of them demanding attention at a time, don't forget that," Emily chuckled. Greyer wasn't her first grandchild, but as she wasn't expecting any from PJ, and Audrey and Henry had to settle with adoption, she was glad Kitty and Jack were each giving her multiple._

"_Oh I won't ever forget that. Tilly and Harriet would never let me live it down."_

"_They were nowhere near as bad as PJ and Kitty," Emily commented. "Those two were so destructive, I'm amazed they lived this long."_

"_Tilly and Harriet weren't destructive, they were just loud."_

"_Oh, I remember. They woke us all up once or twice during sleepovers."_

"_Kinda hard to believe they're so close now."_

"_They live five thousand miles apart, you call that close?"_

"_They talk to each other every few days, and defend each other in fights. I think if it ever cam down to a sister or a boyfriend, they'd choose each other."_

"_Point taken."_

_They stood in silence for a little longer, just watching Greyer throw his hands and feet around under the blue receiving blanket he was wrapped in._

"_You know, even from the moment they were born, Harriet and Tilly were never this quiet," Spencer mused._

"_Oh yeah?"_

"_Yeah, especially after they started day care and picked up everyone else's bad habits."_

"_They were four, weren't they?"_

"_Yep. Biggest mistake ever, that was."_

_**September 2026**_

"But Da-ad!"

Spencer Reid sighed as one of the twins whined in complaint. "Tilly, I've told you many times before, play nice with Harriet or both of you will lose your toys, TV privileges, and this weekend's sleepover."

The blonde almost-five-year-old huffed loudly before stomping away, her small feet only making a small noise on the second storey corridor of their townhouse. Spencer sighed again and ran a hand through his hair; he had let it grow out again, much to Austin's chagrin.

"Spence, what happened this time?" his wife called from the living room downstairs. _Star Trek XIV_ was on in the background as she worked her way through the paperwork her boss had sent her home with.

"Hold that thought," he called back to her, making his way to the girls' play room, which separated their bedrooms. "Harriet, what have I told you about playing nice?"

The older of his fraternal twins looked up at her father and sighed. "Even if Tilly is being super annoying, she's younger than me by like a minute…"

"Try fifteen, sweetheart."

"… and she's not a genius like you and me, so I can't tease her or ignore her," the brunette sang the speech she had repeated many, many times previously.

"So why was Matilda screaming at you?"

Harriet sighed. "I was reading my book, and she wanted to play princesses," she shrugged.

"And…?"

"And I told her to wait for me to finish the chapter I'm reading. She didn't like that."

Spencer tried to hold in a chuckle. Despite the twins sharing their mother's uterus for 35 weeks, his daughters couldn't be any more different if they tried, and they didn't get along well with each other, unless one was being threatened. "How about you entertain her for a while, and play nicely together, and then I'll read you another chapter of Harry Potter tonight?" he knew he was bribing her, but if it was going to keep them quiet while he completed his own stack of paperwork, so be it.

Harriet let out a similar huff to her sister; they were alike in their mannerisms, he had to acknowledge that; and stood up. "Fine; Matilda!"

"Don't call me Matilda!" the younger twin screamed. "My name is Tilly!"

"No it's not, it's Matilda Caitlin Reid, that's what your birth certificate says," Harriet argued.

"Remember, play nicely with each other," Spencer reminded them as he walked back downstairs.

As their daughters continued to bite each other's heads off, Austin Reid sighed. "I wish we could have frozen time back when they were toddlers and return there when this happens," she smiled wistfully.

Spencer chuckled. "With what? My freeze ray? They destroyed that when they were toddlers."

"Actually, I destroyed it and blamed it on them."

The tense silence could have been cut with a knife.

Suddenly, another high pitched scream from upstairs disturbed Spencer and Austin and their paperwork afternoon.

"I'll go," Austin sighed. "It's my turn anyway."

"Bet you wish you didn't destroy my freeze ray so they would settle down now," Spencer sneered good-naturedly after his wife. Austin flipped him off as she walked up the stairs.

"Harriet Diana Reid!" One of the twins screamed again, the noise followed by a loud thump, and Austin took a deep breath. "I'm going to count to three, and if I see you two anywhere near each other, or injured in any way, you're going to wish Daddy did take away your privileges!"

Spencer smiled and chuckled quietly as silence once again reigned throughout the Reid household. An on-screen explosion drew his attention from the ever-boring paperwork, and he discarded it in favour of his favourite sci-fi series.

Life was good. Loud, but good.


	15. Telling Him 2010

**_Telling Him, or how Aaron found out Emily was pregnant for the first time, and royally screwed up._**

* * *

**Kavi Leighanna's TV Prompt Challenge**

**January Prompt Set #14**

Show: Everybody Loves Raymond

Prompt: Someone's Cranky

* * *

_July 2052_

"_Uncle Jack, what happened here; I don't think you ever told us."_

_Jack looked up from the newspaper he was reading to see Charleston Ryan and Noah Hale poured over the scrapbook on the floor. He was supposedly supervising all of his nieces and nephews while his extended family were running errands. He had been waiting for one of the teenagers to ask this particular question for years now, as it was one of his favourite stories._

"_That's when your Nana Emily found out she was pregnant with your Aunt Audrey."_

_The boys turned back to the photo; Aaron and Emily were looking into each other's eyes, Aaron's hand splayed across Emily's still flat abdomen. It was black and white, save the glint of their gold wedding rings and the colour of their eyes. It was a powerful moment, one that never ceased to bring tears to the subject's eyes._

"_It's actually a pretty funny story; well, everything leading up to that moment, anyway."_

_**August 2010**_

Aaron Hotchner was frantic. He hadn't seen or heard from Emily for over two hours, not since she slammed the front door in his face after telling him the good news.

She was pregnant. For real, this time.

He had just stood there in shock. They had been battling it out in the kitchen, slamming pots and pans around, cleaning the dishes after dinner. The topic, as usual, was work and the cases that surrounded them, haunted them, every day. It was starting to interfere with their marriage.

"_Well maybe I shouldn't have this baby then!"_ she had screamed, throwing her hands up in the air. Both of them stopped what they were doing, and Aaron remembered staring at his wife.

"_You're pregnant?"_ he had stupidly asked, and then watched as she all but screamed at him, stomped out to the garage, start her car and leave.

Two hours ago that happened. Two whole hours.

It had taken him thirty minutes to realise she wasn't coming home anytime soon, and another twenty after that to rouse a neighbour to keep an eye on Jack for him. After all, he wasn't going to wake his sleeping son just to deal with a problem he himself created.

"_If you make a mess, you clean it up."_

He could hear his mother's words echoing in his head; she may have been dead for over twenty years, God rest her soul, but the life lessons of Evelyn Hotchner were engrained into the minds of all those souls she taught while she lived.

Wasting no more time, Aaron jumped in his car, after making sure his phone had sufficient charge, and drove around their new neighbourhood. It was a nice place, and the three of them had discovered some idyllic places in the short time they had lived in the area. It was these places he checked out first.

He had tried calling her cell phone, but after he saw it sitting on the sideboard near the front door, he knew she had left it at home.

Driving aimlessly around, Aaron was fuming. He couldn't help wondering if someone had attacked her, abducted her, killed her; the scenes replaying in his mind were an occupational hazard, one which would haunt him until the day he died.

Aaron was so lost in thought he didn't hear his own cell phone ring until the third time the person had rung his number.

"Emily?" he asked, not even bothering to look at the caller ID.

"_No, idiot, Dave,_" the voice was self explanatory.

"Dave, can you make it quick, Emily stormed out two hours ago and I can't…"

"_Care to tell me why there's a crying pregnant woman on my couch, Hotch. JJ is only moments away from calling the other half of the cavalry and we all know what Penelope Garcia will do to you…_"

Aaron sighed. "So she's safe then?" he asked, before hearing the corresponding 'mmm hmm'. "And I suppose she told you?"

"_Aaron, I was supposed to be having a romantic, relaxing, child-free weekend with my girlfriend, and your newly pregnant wife is very close to ruining that! Do you know how long it takes to organise a babysitter for a whole weekend? I'm supposed to be very naked and very happy right now, not very angry! Drag your ass over here and deal with it before someone else does!_"

The line disconnected before Aaron could defend himself, and he swung the car around to head out towards Dave's Little Creek residence.

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

Dave stood hiding in the sanctity of his kitchen; a pregnant, crying Emily and a highly sympathetic JJ in his living room was not conducive to his health, even though he wasn't the target of their anger, for once.

He sighed heavily; it was all Aaron's fault. Henry was with his godmother, presumably being spoilt rotten, and he and JJ were supposed to be naked and extremely happy anywhere in the house right now.

But, no; David Rossi highly doubted any of his carefully planned activities would be happening that night.

All it had taken was Aaron's shocked expression in the middle of an argument, and his very beautiful girlfriend was comforting her best friend wearing nothing but a pale yellow terry towel robe. That thought was an exciting one, and he felt a stirring in his loins; it was the first good thing he had felt since Emily had arrived.

Dave tuned out the sobbing in the next room as he imagined just what he could do with what was hidden underneath the robe, but his journey to a happy place was shot down very quickly with a loud car door slamming outside.

"Dave, open this damn door!" He could hear Aaron shouting on the porch, slamming his fist on the wooden door, but left the women to deal with him. "Damn it Dave, let me in!"

Dave was about to move when he heard his half-naked, extremely angry girlfriend slam open the wooden door to scream at her boss.

"I swear to god, Aaron Hotchner, right now I don't give a flying fuck that you're my boss, so I'm going to say this nice and clear. Stay. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Way."

Dave smirked as JJ slammed the door in Aaron's face, and he could hear the younger man sighing. "Oh come on, JJ, let me in, I just need to talk to Emily. I know she's okay, because I trust you with my life, with their lives, but I need to talk to her," Aaron begged.

"Talk through the door, asshole." JJ was still pissed.

Aaron ran a hand through his hair, sighed, and leant his forehead against the wooden door. "Emily, baby, I'm sorry. After everything we've gone through together, you're pregnant? That's… that's wonderful, amazing; a miracle even. I just froze because we were fighting about work again, like we always do."

Emily and JJ stood on the other side of the door, tears still running down the brunette's face, but for a reason other than anger. A sniffle escaped her mouth, and she pressed a hand to her face to try and stem the flow of tears. "Aaron?" she asked quietly, her voice pitch higher than normal and still wrought with emotion.

"Em?"

"Aaron, I just found out today. I haven't even been to the doctor yet," Emily rested her own forehead on her side of the wooden door. JJ and Dave slowly retreated from the room, presumably to resume their previous coitus interruptus.

Emily and Aaron stood with their foreheads against the door, albeit on opposing sides, before Emily sighed in defeat. She stood up, turned the handle and pulled the wooden door towards her. Aaron stumbled slightly as he lost his leaning post, but caught himself on the doorframe before he could fall any further.

"Emily? You're really pregnant?" he asked hopefully, placing a hand on her abdomen.

"Were you not listening, or are you as dumb as you look, dear husband of mine?" Emily asked sarcastically, a smile breaking out on her face. "Aaron, I'm having a baby. We're having a baby."

"We're having a baby!"

JJ had obviously not disappeared entirely, as Emily saw a quick flash in her peripheral vision, but for once, she didn't care what the photo looked like; she was way too happy to care.


	16. Where the Wild Things Are 2012

**Where the Wild Things Are**

Sorry this took so long, I kinda forgot about it until it was too late.

_**CCOAC Round 12 Challenge: Writers of the Silver Screen**_

_**Prompt: Where the Wild Things Are**_

_**Pairing: Prentiss/Rossi**_

**_November 2018_**

"_Rossi, where the hell are you taking me?"_

_It was the middle of the day and he had pulled her out of the office, leaving a massive pile of paperwork behind._

"_Patience, Princess, you'll find out soon enough," he tried to calm her._

"_I swear, if I fall behind on my paperwork, I'll sic Pepper on you."_

"_Ooh, I'm so scared."_

"_And then I'll sic Jen on you. Complete with sharp objects."_

_Rossi sighed. "We're going where the wild things are."_

_Emily was fuming as soon as she heard him say that. "I thought I told you not to call the kids that. Did you not learn your lesson last time?" she asked through gritted teeth._

_Remembering the profiling seminar she had forced him to run with more than a few uncooperative students, Dave gulped. "Uhhhh…"_

"_Yeah, that's what I thought."_

**November 2012**

"Rossi, where the hell are you taking me?"

It was a valid question SSAC Emily Hotchner voiced, as the older profiler had all but kidnapped her from the office before her day had even started. "It's barely half past ten, and I actually have work to do today."

From the driver's seat of the FBI issued SUV, Dave sighed. "Emily, shut up; we have somewhere to be."

Emily sat back in her seat and huffed, crossing her arms across her breasts in protest. They sat in silence for a while longer, neither speaking until he merged onto the I-95.

"How did you even manage to sign this car out of the motor pool? You're retired!"

Dave smiled. 'Friends in high places, Chief Hotchner."

It was Emily's turn to sneer at him, "Shut up!"

Dave chuckled at his best friend's wife's childish retort; both of them had spent way too much time in the presence of Morgan, Garcia, and everyone's children.

"By the way, I'm not officially Section Chief until January first."

Rossi shrugged. "That's barely six weeks away, and everyone knows you've pretty much taken over from Erin anyway."

Emily shrugged her shoulders in acceptance. "Yeah, I suppose that's true."

Dave chuckled again, turning his attention back to the road. It was late enough for peak hour traffic to have cleared, but there were still a decent amount of cars on the road, including the semi that just flew past.

"So, where are you taking me anyway?" she asked again.

"Not happening, princess."

**xxxXXXxxx**

Almost an hour later, Rossi pulled the SUV into the parking lot of the Hoover building in DC, getting Emily to flash her ID to the attendant in order to access the better, restricted spots.

"Why are we here, Dave?" Emily asked in a whisper; they were met by a probie at the elevator to be escorted somewhere. "Where are we going?"

"Where the wild things are," he chuckled, leaning casually against the back of the elevator.

Emily slapped his arm. "One; how many times do I have to tell you not to call my children 'wild things'?" she inadvertently raised her voice, causing the probie to watch them without hiding it. "And two; they should be in school!"

Before Dave could respond, the probie announced their arrival. "Agent Hotchner, Agent Rossi, this is Doctor Sweets; I'll leave you in his capable hands."

Emily and Dave stared at the baby-faced doctor, the same thought running through both of their heads. "Are you even old enough to work here?" Dave asked, his appearance throwing him for a loop.

Doctor Sweets looked offended at the comment, but sighed heavily; he had obviously had this conversation many times previously. "Not that it's any of your concern, Mister Rossi," he emphasised Dave's lack of title. "But I am twenty-seven years old, and hold a Masters in Abnormal Psychology, and two Doctorates in Clinical Psychology and Behavioural Analysis. I have worked for the FBI for over six years, and for the last five I have been working with Agent Booth and Doctor Brennan in the closing of homicide cases locals and less… for lack of a better term, experienced agents can't or won't solve. I put up with the playful ribbing and casual jests about my age and looks every day, agents, but I'm a genius and the most highly qualified psychologist the bureau has to offer. So yes, I am old enough and qualified enough to work here. Anything else you want to ask?"

Emily and Dave were shocked into silence, their jaws dropping at the emotional explosion of a man that had obviously been asked the same question multiple times previously.

A slow applause from behind them made Emily snap out of her reverie. She turned around, surprised to see a couple standing there; the woman had her arms supporting her heavily pregnant belly, and her partner was the one clapping his hands.

"Aw, look Bones, the baby Duck grew some balls," the male agent said with a smile.

"Booth, I'm assuming you've already had the anatomy conversation with Parker, and would therefore understand that Sweets, as a male, was born with testicles, therefore he cannot grow any more than he already has."

Emily sniggered at the woman's, Bones', literal interpretation of the insulting comment, and the subsequent bickering; the pair had a dynamic she had not often witnessed, one evidently the result of a partnership spanning many years. Rossi cleared his throat loudly, interrupting the constant back-and-forth and one-upmanship of the couple known as Booth and Bones.

"Um, guys, we have guests," Sweets nudged his colleagues.

Booth and Brennan shared a quick look before directing pointed glares at the psychologist, causing the younger man to roll his eyes at their antics before making the introductions. "Supervisory Special Agents Emily Hotchner and David Rossi of the Behavioural Analysis Unit, Quantico, Virginia, meet Special Agent Seeley Booth of the Major Crimes Unit and Doctor Temperance Brennan-Booth of the Jeffersonian Institution. Booth, Brennan; Hotchner, Rossi."

The four shook hands before Booth crossed his arms across his chest and Brennan moved hers back to support her belly. "What are we doing here, Sweets?" Booth asked. "We had to put off an appointment today for this special little pow-wow."

Sweets sighed. "I asked Agents Hotchner and Rossi here today to give _everyone_ a crash course in criminal profiling and how it can benefit a homicide investigation."

"Sweets, you know my opinions on psychology," Brennan reminded him before turning to the actual profilers next to them. "It's a soft science," she shrugged.

Sweets sighed and shook his head; he turned to gather the rest of the group while the other four behind them bickered. Though the lesson would be valuable for everyone involved, it would be a long, trying day for all involved.


	17. Halloween HEDoubleHockeySticks 2013

**Halloween H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks**

**This one's for the Chit Chat on the Author's Corner Challenge Round 15 - the Masquerade Challenge.  
**

**Chosen pairing: Hotch/Prentiss**

**Assigned costume: The Lone Ranger**

'_Grandpa Jack, what happened to Gramma Em'ly?'_

_Jack smiled at his granddaughter; Haley could always be trusted to be the more inquisitive of the twins. 'Show me what you're looking at, sweetie, and I'll tell you.'_

_Haley held up the infamous scrapbook she and Emily loved looking through; this particular page was normally glossed over, but due to the holiday having just passed, Halloween was fresh on their minds._

'_Oh, that one,' Jack remembered only vaguely what happened. 'That's Grandma Emily and Grandpa Aaron at Halloween one year.'_

'_Well, duh,' Emily rolled her eyes. 'But why do they look like that?' she pointed at the look on their faces._

_Jack sighed, pulling the twins onto his lap. 'Well, Grandma Emily was working her new job, and forgot all about Halloween, so Grandpa Aaron was in charge of the costumes…'_

**October 2013**

When Emily entered the house through the kitchen, she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight in front of her.

'Aaron, what the hell are you wearing?'

Her husband turned around, Audrey popping out from behind him, dressed as a cowgirl.

'Hi Mommy!' she waved, tassels going everywhere. 'It's Halloween! We're goin' trick or treatin'!'

Emily's eyes connected with Aaron's, and he smirked at the look on her face.

'You forgot, didn't you?' It wasn't a question. They both knew she did.

She nodded. Aaron shook his head.

'Do you like it, Mommy?' Audrey spun around again, her little cowboy boots tip-tapping on the floor.

'Who are you, baby?'

'Jessie. Duh,' Audrey rolled her eyes at Emily's blank look. '_Toy Story_, Mommy. You should know that by now!'

'Audrey, don't sass your mother.'

'It's not sassin' if it's true!' Audrey turned around to glare at her father, who in turn glared at his wife (the one who taught Audrey the glare), who glared back at him before sighing.

'Sweetie, you still shouldn't say things like that,' Emily crouched down to the three-year-old's level. 'But you do look very pretty, Jessie.'

Audrey smiled, throwing her arms around Emily's neck, the mom in her instantly forgiven. Emily smiled into the little girl's hair, pulling her into a close hug. 'Thanks Mommy! You should see Jack! He's so cool!'

'Where is your brother, sweetie?' Emily pulled back, fixing up the cowgirl's askew hat.

Audrey whipped around, her cute little pigtails flying everywhere, her hat almost falling off again. 'He was just here,' she shrugged, bringing her hands up in the classic 'I don't know' gesture. 'I go find him.'

Aaron watched as their daughter ran off and chuckled, offering a hand to his wife to help her up off the floor. 'How are you going to fix this situation?' he smiled, greeting her properly with a kiss.

Emily shrugged. 'I don't know, I thought maybe you'd have fixed it for me…?' she trailed off, looking at him through her lashes.

Aaron chuckled, spinning her around and pushing her towards the stairs. 'Back of the bathroom door; go.'

Emily cheekily saluted him as she ascended the stairs, careful not to make too much noise lest she wake the four-month-old twins in the nursery.

'Look Mommy!' Audrey jumped out of her room as Emily walked past; the three-year-old was pointing a toy gun at her mother. 'Hands up!'

'Aaaarrrgggghhh!' Emily pretended to be scared, throwing her hands up in fake shock. She couldn't help but giggle at her precocious daughter. 'You got me!'

'A'course I did, silly!' she squealed, wriggling out of her mother's arms, laughing in that gorgeous way kids do as she ran off. 'You can't catch me!'

Emily watched as Audrey ran the length of the hall into her brother's room, running her fingers along the wall as she did so. It wasn't long before she ran screaming back to her mother, Jack chasing after her.

'Quiet you two, I don't want to wake the…' a wail erupted from the closed door they screamed past, a second one following moments after. 'Twins,' she finished on a low note. 'Come on, let's go see what they want.'

Jessie and Woody, aka Audrey and Jack, followed Emily into the nursery where Kitty and PJ were wailing their little heads off. 'Mommy, why are they cryin'?' Audrey asked, pressing her face up against the bars of Kitty's crib. 'Why you cryin', Kitty-kat?'

'She's crying because someone decided to run past her room, screaming like a banshee,' Emily chastised her oldest daughter, hugging PJ to her chest.

'Mommy, can I hold her?' Jack asked, climbing into the rocking chair by the window. 'I think PJ needs a cuddle.'

Emily smiled, quickly placing PJ on the floor so she could grab Kitty. 'Sweetie, if you give your sister a cuddle, you'll never go trick or treating, which means no candy, and I won't get to make fun of your Daddy in that stupid costume of his,' she added under her breath.

At the mention of candy, Audrey's head turned back to her mom. 'Candy?'

'Yep,' Emily nodded, rocking Kitty on her chest. 'Candy, which you only get if you go trick or treating with Daddy.'

'What's this about Daddy?' Aaron walked into the room, picking PJ up off the floor on his way.

'Mommy said you're taking us trick or treatin'!' Audrey jumped on his leg. 'And she wants to see you in your 'tupid costume.'

Emily buried her grin in the baby's downy head, trying her best to avoid eye contact with her husband.

'Well, in that case, we should leave Mommy to change into her own costume while I put the twins back to sleep,' Aaron smirked, pressing a kiss to Emily's temple as he pulled the baby from her arms. 'Remember, back of the…'

'Bathroom door, I know.'

'Silly Mommy,' Audrey giggled again. Aaron shook his head at their oldest daughter; Jack had once again disappeared, probably having returned to his own room to play.

It wasn't long before Emily returned to the room, wearing an entirely too-revealing dress, a look of distaste on her face. 'Aaron, what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks am I wearing?' she hissed, waving the headwear at him.

'Payback, dear,' he smirked, picking Audrey up to take her downstairs. 'You forgot about Halloween, so I was stuck with the last costumes in the store, hence the reason I'm the _Lone Ranger_.'

'When were you planning on telling me about the Western theme you chose?'

Aaron shrugged. 'I didn't choose it; Audrey and Jack wanted us to match.'

'Oh, okay, blame it on the kids then,' picking up various toys from the stairs.

'I will, but it only happened after the store had almost sold out of costumes,' he smiled at his wife. 'That was the… let's say, most flattering, outfit still available.'

'But I look like a hooker!' she followed him into the kitchen, her boots making sharp noises on the polished floor.

'A Western hooker,' he corrected with the appropriate amount of emphasis on the 'western'.

'But a hooker nonetheless!' she threw her hands up in the air, stalking off to find the candy stashed. 'And if you think I'm going out in public looking like this, you're clearly mistaken!'

'You forget, sweetheart,' he smirked again. 'I'm taking the kids trick or treating, you're on door duty.'


	18. The Worst Day of My Life 2030

_The Worst Day of My Life_

_I'm not sure what the exact inspiration for this particular story was, other than it popped into my head at work and wouldn't leave me alone._

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

_**April 2030**_

"_Jack, what's this?" Sam Hotchner asked._

_Jack moved from the box he was packing to his wife's side. They were packing his more important belongings from his family home, and evidently Sam had found something important. Glancing at the laminated A4 sheets, he knew exactly what._

"_When I was in the tenth grade, my English teacher made the whole class write a 1000 word essay on the worst day of our lives, and made us present it to the whole class," he said, taking a deep breath. "This was my contribution. By the time I read it to the class, most of them had tears running down their cheeks; the teacher certainly did, I remember that."_

"_What did you say?"_

"_Read it," he shrugged his shoulders. "You pretty much know the story anyway. My teacher showed it to some of the other teachers, and they entered it in a short story competition. It won a prize, and apparently everyone who read it cried."_

"_Your parents must have been so proud," Sam whispered._

_Jack shrugged again. "I was telling a true story."_

_Modesty, Jack Hotchner was full of it._

_**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**_

**The Worst Day of My Life, by Jack Hotchner**

Most guys my age would say the worst day of their lives was the day their girlfriend dumped them, or losing the championship football game, but, no offense to those guys, they haven't lived the life I have. The worst day of my life was November 18, 2008. I was four years old, and it was the day my mother was murdered.

To understand my story, you have to know a bit about my family. The FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit is a department that consists of half a dozen teams, each staffed by a handful of the country's elite profilers, for the most part based out of the FBI Training Academy in Quantico, Virginia. Back then though, there was only one team, and that's where my family comes in.

My dad, Supervisory Special Agent in Charge Aaron Hotchner, was the Unit Chief, which means he's pretty much the leader of the team. He had his own office and the privilege of dealing with the Section Chief from hell. His mentor, SSA David Rossi, was one of the founding fathers of the BAU, and held the office next to him. They were the most experienced profilers by a long shot, but even superheroes need sidekicks; they came in the form of the rest of the team.

The rest of the team included SSA Derek Morgan, an expert on obsession crimes, SSA Doctor Spencer Reid, a genius with marginal social skills, SSA Jennifer Jareau, the communications director and media liaison, and SSA Emily Prentiss, the woman who became my stepmother. Helping them out from her own bunker was Penelope Garcia, technical analyst slash professional hacker.

For most of 2008, they had been working on a case most people would recognise; the Boston Reaper. They eventually identified him as a former victim named George Foyet, and he had a personal vendetta against my dad. A few months before this day was the second worst day in my life. In the middle of a case, Dad wasn't answering his phone and Emily went over to his apartment, only to find a pool of blood and a massive bullet hole in the wall. He turned up at a hospital a few hours later; Foyet had stabbed him multiple times and promised he would be back.

It was then that my adventure really began. My mom Haley and I were put into the Witness Protection Program and were moved out of state. My dad was so sad to see us go, but knew we had to go to keep us safe. Mom dyed her hair, we went by different names, had our own US Marshall to protect us, an untraceable cell phone, the whole shebang. It probably would have been kinda cool if I were old enough to understand it, but then one day we received a call telling us my dad was dead. Mom believed the man on the other end of the phone, and we drove back to our own house where the man was waiting for us.

We walked straight into the trap. My dad was not dead at all; our original guard had been murdered by this guy, George Foyet. Foyet contacted my dad and we had this long conversation on speakerphone, then Dad told me to help him by hiding upstairs in a secret place only he and I knew about. If I wasn't only four years old, I would have recognised the fear in both Mom and Dad's voices. If I wasn't only four years old, I would have recognised the last hug and kiss that I gave my mom was her saying goodbye.

What happened next was something I didn't fully understand until earlier this year. Foyet shot my mom at point blank range while my dad was still on the line, completely helpless and unable to do anything. When he did eventually arrive at the house, they both fought a fight to the death, and Dad won. He rushed upstairs and found me before shielding me from the horrors around us.

At her funeral a few days later, Dad gave the eulogy, and he repeated the promise Mom made him make before she was murdered. "Aaron, promise me you'll tell him how we met, how you used to make me smile. Show him you weren't always so serious Aaron, show him how to love...

Even though it was the worst day of my life, looking back on it now, there are a few things I have learnt from both my parents then, and my family now. Never take your family for granted, because especially in their line of work, you never know which kiss or which hug might be the last one you'll ever give them. Show your loved ones your appreciation, and never be afraid to let them know how you feel, because some people never get that chance. Never let go of the people you have loved and lost, like my mom; remember the good times, talk to them often and don't be afraid to love again. They are always watching over us from above, whether you believe in heaven or not. They will always love you, and you them.

The worst day in my life was the day my mother was murdered. I was only four years old, and now that I think of it, I never really had the chance to say goodbye.


End file.
